#I’m also sick of y’all pretending they’re not friends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jeeseth · 8 months ago

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grumpy

pairing : park minju x fem!reader

summary : after not attending school for a week because of your fever, your girlfriend who is also the student council president has been living with a grey cloud with her.

genre : fluff, angsty, kinda nsfw at the end

cw/tw : men, harassing, violence, bruises and wounds.

“Good morning, y/n!” A bright Jeemin greeted you while hugging your side.

“Morning Jee!” You smiled lovingly, opening your arms so that Youngseo and Hyewon who was behind Jeemin can hug you too. You all shared a group hug before pulling away.

As you pulled away, Jeemin looked at you with her puppy eyes and pouted. You chuckled before caressing her cheeks.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you.” Jeemin muttered while fixing her hair.

“Sorry, I had a fever.” You chuckled awkwardly, scratching your not-so itchy nape.

You missed school last week because you had a severe fever. You didn't have enough energy to do anything, so you spent the entire week resting in bed. Your parents have already taken you to the clinic to get some medicine and have you checked out. You could hear a number of notifications from your phone, but you're so unwell that you can't even get it from beside the bed.

“I’m glad that you feel better now.” Youngseo smiled, patting your head afterwards. “But, I feel like someone is still in a bad mood since last week~” Youngseo giggled, you look up at her, feeling confused.

“Hm, I wonder why our students president was so grumpy last week?” Hyewon said, pretending to think.

You laughed and quickly realised what they meant. You feel bad for not informing your girlfriend that you're sick. Even your mother wondered whether you tell Minju about it or not, because you discovered that Minju had called your mom to asked why you didn’t came to school. You wouldn't be surprised if the notifications is all from her.

“She is?” You giggled as they all snapped their heads toward your direction.

“She’s like way grumpier than she already is!” Youngseo rolled her eyes playfully, remembering what happened last week.

They told you that last week, during the morning assembly, Minju won’t let them seat and suddenly her speeches were so damn long. You couldn’t believe it when they said that Minju was in her office all day long. Minju’s friends were also worried about that girl.

“Ay, there’s no way it’s all because of me-”

“It is!!” Your friend group and Minju’s friend group said in unison causing you to flinched.

“Where did you guys even came from?!?” You shrieked.

By the look of it, it seems like they were just passing by. You couldn’t help but to noticed that Minju isn’t with them, that’s weird.

“Uh, we were just passing by and couldn’t help but to eavesdrop y’all talking.” Yunah laughed out loud but then she stopped when Jeongeun slapped the back of her head.

“Talking about Minju, she’s still walking around with a grey cloud with her.” Jeongeun sighed, massaging her temples.

“Damn y/n, you really should go and talk to her asap. That girl isn’t even functioning properly since she’s so worried about you.” Jihyun said, wrapping her arms around your shoulders. “Did you not tell her that you’re sick?”

You shakes your head, “no I didn’t, I was so sick that I can barely open my eyes.” You pouted.

“By the way, do you guys have any meetings today?” You asked Yunah, Jihyun and Jeongeun since they’re also in the student council.

“Nope, we don’t have any today.” Jeongeun said as you nodded in response.

“Don’t worry, you have the whole day to make it up to Minju. Just don’t do anything freaky in her office!” Yunah teased and went to her class with Jihyun and Jeongeun trailing behind her, bidding you guys goodbye. Your cheeks flushed a bright pink tint at what Yunah just said.

“It’s time for us to go too, let’s go!” Hyewon said, linking her arms with yours.

Your first and second periods went well, and you have virtually the same classes as Youngseo. Even if you were told to stop chatting so much, it was still enjoyable. It was recess, and you sat next to Jeemin, drinking your banana milk. You also brought an extra one for Minju, as you want to meet her when school finishes.

“You sure, y/n?” They asked, when you told them to just go home first without you later.

“Yeah, I planned on meeting Minju for a while. You guys can go first.” You smiled as they all nodded.

“Bye, y/n!” Jeemin waved at you and you waved back at her, before making your way to Minju’s office.

You were almost at her office when you ran into someone, forcing you to fall. "Ouch…" you winced. You sense a presence in front of you and look up to find two terrifying-looking students. Their uniform made it clear that they were not from around here. You thoughts were cut off when one of them grabbed you by your collar.

“My my, what a pretty lady like you doing here?” He chuckled as he let go off your collar.

“U-um, I just need to go to that office so please excuse me.” You said, attempting to walk away but was stopped by another man standing in front of you.

"Calm down, what's the hurry for?" He stated while looking at you with hunger and lust in his eyes. He looked around before bringing you closer to him, pressing your bodies together. And there's another man at your back. You swear you want to cry at this point.

“Hey, why not let’s have some fun hm?” He whispered and started caressing your body, you let out a whimper when the other man covered your mouth with his hands. Your tears were pouring out like a waterfall right now and you wished for nothing but someone or that specific someone to save you.

The man in front of you was about to touch you again, but before he could, he was pulled back roughly by the hair. You flinched but took the chance to bite the man at your back palms, causing him to let out a yelp. You were quick to run a little bit far away, and you tried your best to look through your wet eyelashes. And there you saw Minju throwing blow after blow to the both of them. Her shirt wasn’t tucked in, she threw her blazer somewhere else, and her tie was loosening a bit. Minju kept fighting before a teacher came and stopped her. It seems like it was the two dudes, teacher. He apologised to Minju and your principal before pulling his students away. The principal asked if Minju was okay, and she said she’s fine, before the principal left to settle with those two.

Through your vision you saw Minju came to you and kneeled in front of you before picking you up in bridal style. You nuzzled your face in her necks and let her carry you to what felt like her office. She put you down on the sofa before going to close the door. She came back to you and kneeled in front of you with her hands caressing your thighs.

“Love,” she called out, and you hummed in response. You wiped your tears away and looked at her. You saw that her lips were bleeding and her temple was bruised with an ugly purple colour.

You cupped her face, and she leaned into your warm palms. You peck her nose softly before standing up to take a medkit. A few moments later, you sat back down with a medicine kit in your hands. You patted the empty seats beside you as a sign to tell her to sit down.

In silence, you carefully treated her wounds. You’re being extra careful with the one that’s still bleeding. Without realising it, you were so focused on treating Minju’s wound that you didn’t see that she was staring at you the whole time. You only realised that when you started treating her lips and making eye contact with her.

She smiled softly before you went back to treating her bruised lips like you weren’t completely flustered by that. “Stop it, i need to focus.”

She just chuckled quietly and continued staring at you until you’re done. You pull away and look at her wounds, looking a bit better than before.

“Um, don’t i get a kiss for being obedient?” Minju asked nonchalantly, making you roll your eyes.

“Is this really the grumpy president everyone been talking about?” You scoffed before laughing at how Minju’s pouting.

“Aw, come on…” she mumbled, intertwining your hands afterwards. You giggled quietly before pecking her lips.

You pull away and saw Minju still pouting. “Why? Is that not enough hm?”

“I want a kiss, and that’s only a peck.”

“Minju, your lips taste like ointment you know.”

“Tch, if you won’t kiss me then I will.” she smirked before pinning you down against the sofa.

Let’s just say, the ointment on her lips were no longer there for some, reasons.

a/n — i don’t really like this 😭 imma make another one soon as an apology ;)

#minju #park minju #minju illit #r u next?#runext #park minju x fem reader #illit #kpop #wlw #jeeseth #dew’s 🍈

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girlboypersonthingy · 1 year ago

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can I request a list of like green flags and red flags for each of the characters in voltron? btw I love your writing:)

Hello friendo, thank you sm! Thanks for the request, I adore this idea. Also…Sorry y’all, I was posting like every other day for two weeks and then I hopped off for like two months. Oof life is really life-ing rn. I honestly chose to write this prompt before a lot of other requests bc it seems like an easy and short thing to bust out quickly. I swear, I will get to the rest eventually 🩵 keep sending in requests if you’d like! And as always… ENJOY~

KEITH ❤️

Red Flags 🚩

TERRIBLE AT COMMUNICATING. We all know Keith is stubborn and easily overwhelmed with a short temper. He doesn’t really know how to talk to people without getting angry. He feels that bc he has a hard time explaining exactly what he means, people never understand him and that makes him mad.

Bro isn’t scared of anything…and that low key scares everyone else. Like…who isn’t afraid of anything? The whole team has tried sooooo hard to figure out what will get Keith to jump out of his skin and scream like a child but to no avail… Boy just doesn’t flinch, doesn’t care, couldn’t care less about bugs and rodents and clowns and heights or anything like that.

Wears his gloves in the shower sometimes. Like wtf ???

Green Flags ✅

Also bc he is not afraid of anything, boy will protect his friends/family/partner SO HARD. He will verbally AND physically tear someone apart just for looking at you the wrong way. Very protective and caring but in a good way ya know?

Actually very selfless and not self-centered in the slightest. Keith is very giving and helpful, despite his tough exterior, he’s very caring, observant and considerate. He’ll give the shirt off his back to someone in need. He’s always down to help others. Ugh Sweet heart ❤️‍🔥

Has a sick ass space wolf that will also protect you like COSMO IS A MAJOR PLUS OKAY BIG GREEN FLAG DOGGO

LANCE 💙

Red Flags 🚩

Obvi his biggest red flag is how flirty he is. Boy will flirt with anything that breaths and that can get really annoying sometimes and affect the rest of the team.

Jealous AS FUCK. Like the petty jealous type. Lance is the kind of guy to pretend he has a partner back home just bc some alien girl he was flirting with said she had a partner already. He’s like “OH YEAH? Wow cool me too, same same, yeah….” But homie’s ego is a bit sore now…

Lies a lot. Lance just panics sometimes and tells a lie. He knows it’s wrong and he always feels guilty after lying to someone but it always just slips out. His mouth moves faster than his brain most the time.

Green Flags ✅

THE BEST HUGGER/CUDDLER OMFGGGGGG. Lance is the best hugger and cuddle buddy ever, period, end of story, try to change my mind. His long arms always stretch fully around the recipient’s torso and he squeezes tight enough to make you feel warm but not smothered. Usually will rest his chin on the other person’s head if they’re short enough (so Pidge obvi).

Very aware of other’s moods/body language/tone of voice. Everyone thinks Lance is “the dumb one” but he’s actually very in tune with what’s going on in the moment, what’s going on around him. I think he can tell how others feel the second he sees them. Good intuition kinda thing. An empath for sure.

Very considerate and often remembers the little things about people. Does he remember what he learned in class just a couple days ago? Pffft heck no! Does he remember everyone’s birthday, every year and get them a very thoughtful gift? HELL YEAHH I LOVE THIS SWEET BOY OMFG 🩵

SHIRO 🖤

Red Flags 🚩

Honestly…idfk Shiro is so perf. Perfect baby boy all the way

Maybe he could seem too nice at first…? Like when someone is nice but ur like “are you for real? Or are you fake and evil and you’re hiding something?” I think Shiro could be perceived as being fake nice at first.

Omg I feel like Shiro is one of those “ oh no, that looks delicious but I can’t. I’m watching my carbs.” YOU KNOW SHIRO IS A GYM DUDE WHO COUNTS HIS CALORIES PLZ

Green Flags ✅

ALSO AN A+ HUGGER. Imagine those big ass arms holding you so softly and so close to his big, warm body. Omg so comforting, so relaxing. Often gives a gently squeeze just before letting go and pulling away. Ugh 😩❤️‍🔥

Literally the most trustworthy man in the universe. Will defend his friends, loved ones, and planet until the end of time. Shiro would die before revealing any secrets you’ve asked him to keep. The best person to vent to bc he’ll never tell another soul about it. He’s like a personal diary

Shiro is sooooo patient. Definitely the most patient one on the team. He really does take his own advice…ya know, patience yields focus 😌 very sweet, calm man. We love Shiro

PIDGE 💚

Red Flags 🚩

GIRL WILL WORK HERSELF TO DEATH PLZ GO CHECK UP ON HER, BRING HER FOOD AND WATER, GENTLY FORCE HER INTO BED SHE NEEDS SLEEP.

Lowkey kinda moody and can get snappy very easily. Pidge is a sweet heart and very smart and a good team player but she’s also stubborn and will yell to get her point across or make herself heard (she’s an Aries…what’d you expect?)

Sometimes very conceited and braggy about how smart she is. Like yeah Pidge, we know you’re a genius and you could code in your sleep. WE GET IT. UR SMART. GEEZ 😒

Green Flags ✅

Pidge is so baby. Yeah, she can get snappy and braggy sometimes but…SHES SO BABY PLZ FORGIVE HER. She’s just young and stressed okay? Give her a break. She’ll apologize eventually with puppy dog eyes and a soft voice and while she looks adorable, she is being sincere and really wants to resolve this.

Very loyal and determined. I mean look how hard she searched and fought for her dad and brother. She won’t stop for anything or anyone once she has her mind set. Pidge Will never leave you behind and will always turn back to help someone in need.

Androgynous royalty. Pidge is soooo chill about her gender and identity. We love a confident babe 🏳️‍🌈💚

HUNK 💛

Red Flags 🚩

Boy is too scared sometimes. I think Hunk has really bad anxiety and it’s not the anxiety that is the red flag, it’s how he copes with it…which he doesn’t. Hunk let’s his anxiety get the best if him sometimes…but he’s trying.

Honestly…does Hunk really have any other red flags??? Baby boy is so sweet idk 🤷🏻

Over eats to the point of getting sick sometimes…and never learns his lesson. (Me asf)

Green Flags ✅

THE SWEETEST MOST CONSIDERATE AND THOUGHTFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE OMFG WHAT A SWEET HEART 😩💛 honestly just a very good guy. We love Hunk.

Obvi his cooking skills!!! Can cook for any occasion, on any cooking surface, in any conditions. Can cook so many different dishes from so many rich cultures around the world! So talented. His food always hits.

THE ABSOLUTE BEST at cheering others up. Soooo funny and silly and kind and relatable. He tries so hard to brighten others’ days when they need it. Will stop what he’s doing just to go cheer up a friend or loved one and watch them smile again.

MATT 🧡

Red Flags 🚩

Interrupts A LOT. In any given conversation, he will interrupt and talk over someone else at least once every minute. Can get really annoying sometimes but in his defense, if he waits too long to speak up, he’ll just totally forget what he was gonna say.

Like Lance, I think Matt would be overly flirty and act like a Fuck boy sometimes. Like bro sit your nerd ass down, that person is SOOO out of your league plz chill.

Can not take anything seriously (unless it comes to his family or his or anyone else’s safety) but day to day, Matt makes so many dumb and inappropriate jokes at the worst times. Ugh 😒

Green Flags ✅

Very brotherly to everyone he considers a friend or family. Protective, constantly checking up on others, making sure they have eaten, asking if they need anything from him. He cares a lot. Bonus points bc he’s a very good brother to his actual sibling too. Aww Pidge and Matt are sibling goals. 🥹

HOT AS FUCK NO MATTER HIS HAIR STYLE/LENGTH. You can fight me on this. Matt is gorg and so is his hair at every single moment throughout the show.

Extremely accepting and open minded. Matt treats everyone he meets equally and never seems phased when he meets others so different from himself. He may ask some questions for the sake of his own curiosity, but would never pass judgment on another person.

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realnoira · 1 year ago

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You don’t understand how hard I cringe when I hear someone saying shit like “childhood trauma can manifest in adulthood” or “hurt people hurt people”. Like… yeah Sherlock, thanks for unlocking the most basic concept in emotional intelligence. Don’t fucking talk to me you’re a moron if you think that’s news.

Also this is completely unrelated but I recently have been feeling strongly towards millennials who act like millennials and try too hard to seem quirky and approachable, I just want them to fucking relax it’s making me sad. I know how exhausting it is to have to put on that bubbly happy persona to appear okay and the desperate need to keep everyone happy and to be perceived well. I can see how exhausting that is to them. I just wanna tell them it’s fine you literally don’t have to it’s ok, but ofc that’ll never register because the damage is already done. I’m a millennial too but I’m like a pick-me millennial cuz I’m not like the other ones. I do feel exactly the same need to control and keep everyone happy and pretend everything is ok as they do but I’m disgustingly aware of so I try not to act on it, still feels shitty though.

Another unrelated thing is that I’ve recently been so annoyed with people who fucking suck at maintaining a normal conversation online. I’m specifically referring to online conversations with people you don’t know very well (AKA not your friends). It infuriates me how, not just zero, but negative effort some people are willing to put in. This level of laziness is such an insta turn off to the entire dead boring interaction. If you start a conversation with “hi” or anything similar to that, or a random qUirKy gif, or worst of fucking all… a song, I’m instantly mad. Instant resentment. Blacklisted. That’s so fucking boring oh my god I want to scream. You’re dumping all of the conversation carrying on the other person. What this says is “I’m so fucking boring there’s no interesting way I can start a conversation with you but I want to, so I need you to do the carrying”. Please stop. Why would you think someone would find it interesting to interact with that? If someone does, then they’re boring as fuck too maybe you two are fit. It’s infuriating because people don’t realize how bad this makes them look. In my experience it’s either that or a sudden trauma dump that nobody fucking asked for. Y’all need help. Sick and tired of letting all that crap pass by. NO MORE! I WILL SHAME U INTO BECOMING DECENT CONVERSATIONERS MFs.

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karmakyo · 1 year ago

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LOL U think these people are your friends? They’re not. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be WHO or WHERE you are today. You seem to take things for granted, heavily. I’m so sorry for you, and I really shouldn’t be.

I hope life is beautiful for you in your sick fucked up mind. Nearly 20 years old now and STILL don’t know how to act your age. LOL what a baby.

Mature and grow the fuck up girls, pathetic jokes.

Because of y’all I suffered so much. Do I wish the same in return? No, I’m not illhearted like y’all.

How’s life look now? Sitting on the short end thinking and pretending everything is okay…keep taking your meds baby, you need them more than I do😘

Also btw, to all the dudes. Taking her swimming on the first date ~ both of them. They’re huge catfish and literally it’s all fake.

Grow up.

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zumpietoo · 1 year ago

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https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtUvpdqKDiI/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Okay, so yes, CabanaPee IS still a thing.....but this IS also soooperrr weird and creepeee.....I get it’s meant as Midsommar (tho it isn’t close to “mid-summer”), buuuuttt.....they look like they’re in a fucking cult. Which, TBF, PP is, soooo....

Also, even then, trying soooo hard for the cameras. Should Cabana Boi be veryyyy afraid if the Peepster is crowned May Kween?

Meanwhile....

Oh myyyy.....also, I’VE “settled” for Ari? Ummm.....

And while, yes, she’s unquestionably in a cult.....never said she was the worst (that’s you idiots over Cole) and I wish she’d actually work on herself, be able to legit move on (it’s been three years!), etc.....and be in a relationship with somebody who isn’t a Walmart Cole....and, honestly? Continue to find it weird how y’all define “happiness” solely on being in a relationship, cuz doesn’t work that way....

Ummmm.....I’m not exclusively “in app”, anybody can “read my arguments”, like you....despite being blocked repeatedly. I’m sorry you’re too stupid to grasp how shit works....

Actually, “this fucking thing over in a week” (it’s two, but close enough) is precisely why the Peepster’s carrying on as she is, makes me wonder why you’re here, certainly not why my job ended.....and jeebus chris Amy, grow up. And stop stalking me.

I will say, pretty sure you’re upset that your kween’s about to fade into oblivion....and, again, if it’s all over (and “nobody can see it”) why so upset and desperate to control?

Ummm.....see above....moar like the clock is ticking down fasssttttt.....it’s mere days before she neverrrrr sees him again. And no, a very temporary Walmart Cole won’t help that.

When did she “smile/stand close to him”? Cuz that’s just fucking creepy....

Umm.....she’s depressed and it’s untreated....plus....didn’t you claim the exact same shit the last time she was fucking a dude? Until he was outed as a total cheater? (and we’d already seen how “happy” she was when wasted/dragged around and ignored...).

Funny how Cabana Boi doesn’t “defend” her to his friends who despise her, but just pretends it didn’t happen, cuz he’s THAT big a fucking coward....and his “criticism” of Cole? A sad tiktoker seeking attention over somebody waayyyy moar famous than he can ever hope to be.

Seriously, dude’s entire identity is based off looking like Cole, now dating Cole’s ex, etc...it’s pathetic. And Cole’s ex is with him because he looks like Cole AND he made fun of Cole....which is pathetic, sick and really gross.

I will agree, PP is able to shoot off her yap all by herself....

Ummm....

A) Cole’s been classy for years, now, PP hasn’t. He answered A question.....and even then was nothing but gracious.

B) If PP were “being the bigger person”, she certainly wouldn’t have endorsed her flying monkees and she wouldn’t be with the dude whose only claim to fame was bagging on her ex. Or become all chummy with his ex who used to stalk HER. Seriously, dude, do the fucking math.

C) Again, she knows she’s never seeing Cole again, in 2 weeks and she’s fucking terrified

D) Done the work? Cole’s been in therapy and in a consistent, happy, healthy relationship for over 2 years. PP’s off drugging and is in a cult. Ummm....how has she “done the work”?

E) No, she hasn’t “moved on”----she should’ve, because, again, it’s been over 3 years, but she hasn’t. Because if she had NONE of the above would be true....yet they are....

Oh and for “thriving in her career”----if the strike happens, her chance to stay relevant blows up. She didn’t do anything last hiatus and she’s heading rapidly into irrelevance....

Oh and lastly? it’s horrifying how, once again, you can even now only define her by having a boyfriend and pretending it’s “dating up”

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blondrichclosetwitch · 2 years ago

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Your eyes couldn't hide anything

You were wrong when you said everything's gonna be alright

You were right when you said this is the end

You lie for a moment, you lie as a decoy

Sittin on the stand with no remorse

Be creepin wit mad demons

Blood rushin, concussions

Y’all can’t see this but this might be the night

Chloe don’t know better, Chloe’s just like me

Dreams like this must die

And everyone has a heart and it’s calling for something, and we’re all so sick and tired of seeing things as they are, and everyone is hidden and everyone is cruel, there’s no shortage of tyrants and no shortage of fools

And the little white shape dancing at the end of the hall is just a wish that time can’t dissolve at all:

“Well, there are some things too hard to explain but my baby’s coming home.”

And I realized

How many paths have crossed between us

This story is old, I know—but it goes on

Sounds like today’s a good day for a tape

It seems to make you laugh each time I cry

Annie

Well its been ten years or maybe more since I first laid eyes on you

Come and play the tunes of glory

Raise your voice in celebration

And learn the meaning of existence in fortnightly instalments

Come share this golden age with me in my single room apartment

Oh and I could be a genius if I just put my mind to it

Now they expected to control us (these aren’t the words but they’re what I thought the words were for 30 years )

“Oh, come on make it up yourself. And I promise I won't tell this to anybody else in the world but you.”

I ain’t had a job for a year or more, I don’t own a thing

Holy law and money, their intentions are tall

We smoke and talk in my room

Maybe I'm crazy

Or maybe you know

But I've got this feeling it’s all about to blow

So we go from year to year with secrets we’ve been keeping

“Yes, Jackie.” (there’s actually a French man named jacky on the wall who died last year)

Cameras on the microphone

I knew you was conflicted

Light my fire

Holy junkie

Funky monkey

He don't want to play that game

He gotta play that game

What will you ever do when you blow a fuse?

Sooner or later you’ve gotta get down and sing

I’m the siren that you hear

I’m churnin out novels like beat poetry on amphetamines

I’ve got feathers in my hair

They judge me

Brooklyn Babies

Yeah then I saw love disfigure me into something I am not recognizing

“See the cage.”

I will not open myself this way again.

All all you folks, you come to see; you just stand there looking at me…and I could kill you.

“I know there’s a way that we can make ‘em pay.”

“We never lost control.”(this stuck out like a sore thumb today)

When I’m in trouble I know she’ll go with me until the end; everybody asks me how I know I smile at them and say “she told me so.”

Don’t get high on what you create, oh it just might steal ya

Cocaine cocaine cocaine ALL DAY, Jesus, ok quick lecture: we’ve Got an overdose coming, so you better pull your shit together and now the lyrics: buzzing all the time, just one hit and I feel great….we promise we won’t tell.

Music is your only friend; until the end.

We can’t stop is the song that was playing Dec 30 2017 when fake katie told me I needed to “party” even tho I’d been sober a year, and when I asked with what, she responded “coke and ecstasy”. That was the longest & most severe drug addiction I ever had and I hope I never see it again, and sometime in 2018 while high out of my Mind after realizing I’d been duped, wrote, “blond got me hooked on cocaine” on my wall next to an exchange between me and my ex-therapist that said “I’m in a boat with drugs and ritual and voices”, and her response “do something with it or get a new boat”…so I did. It just took awhile. In the words of our friend the pot dealer “smoke weed, dude.”

Also don’t trick people into cocaine addictions by pretending to be their dead niece, maybe? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t bother saying you’re sorry(though you having your henchmen leave wrapped drinking straws everywhere so I’d be reminded of my addiction was super shitty IMHO)

You are the habit I can’t seem to kick

And like a car crash I can see but I just can’t avoid

Like a plane I’ve been told I never should board (Steel, RIP)

Oh right that song about a girl you’re obsessed with that you never talk to, twice in one day

“When you hit the ground, it’s an awful sound.” Speak to us of this expertise. After all it’s played three times in 24 hours. On three different playlists.

A yo there’s poison in that gumbo

I know your secrets, bitches

#today is a 39/12/03

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gaysimpsstuff · 4 years ago

Note

Could I get a Hawks in his rut headcanon?

No problem, Anon! I’m sorry this took so long, I wanted it to be perfect since I really like thinking about Hawks’ avian traits, and I know people really like it too. I hope it’s good!

Hawks Rut Headcannons

Genre: fluff, smut

Type: headcannons (so... many... headcannons)

Warnings: animal traits, Keigo being possessive af, the commission being assholes, sickness, food, breeding kink, lots of horny times

Other: most of this is based off of real research, but some of it also comes from personal preference. @keilemlucent and their fic Best Nest very much inspired many other headcannons, check them outI They’re one of my favorite creators, and the linked fanfic is one of my favorites! Hope it’s okay I tagged you here lmao

NSFW Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @mandalorian-baby-bird @waffleareniceandfluffy (Lemme know if you wanna be added to or removed from the Taglist)

Remember to check if requests are open before sending in a request. This was made while requests were still open.

Pre-Rut Behaviors

Grooming and Preening

Before his rut, Keigo starts to feel dirty. He just seems to accumulate more dust and dirt during hero work than usual. He’ll come back home grumbling about blood in his hair and little bits of concrete in/on his skin.

He will insist you clean him off. So you get to brush his hair, put creams on his face, and wash him off in the shower.

Finally, there’s the preening. If he lets you preen his wings, then you know he’s in it for life. He loves and trusts you with everything he has.

Expect him to press his nose against yours a lot.

Possessiveness and Protection

You’ll notice he gets more clingy, more possessive of you. He gets really controlling in the days leading up to his rut, so you’ll be annoyed a l o t.

Just text all your friends and family that you’ve been swamped at work, it’d be a little weird to say “hey guys, sorry I can’t hang out, my boyfriend’s horomones are crazy right now and he gets really insecure if I so much as exist near anyone but him.”

You would come home from work and he’s already on you, sniffing your body to see who you’ve been around, and to see if any of them were attracted to you at all.

If he had any kind of sneaking suspicion that anyone posed a threat, he’s literally laying on you and rolling on top of you to try and get his scent on you. Even if no one will smell it except him, he’s gonna do it.

He’s so protective of you, and if something tiny hurts you or makes you upset...

He.

Is.

Angry.

Someone was rude to you? He’s screaming at them.

Someone tries to hurt or touch you? You’ve got to hold him back to stop him from ripping that person apart limb from limb.

All that x100 when he’s approaching his rut.

One person accidentally bumps into you? He takes it as passive aggressiveness even if they’re very apologetic about it.

You stub your toe on a table? He’s smashed the table and burnt it then thrown the ashes in the ocean.

If you’re sad about something he can’t beat up, he feels horrible. He’s not the best at comforting people, so he’s just grabbing onto you and not letting go, telling you how much he loves and cares for you, and just how amazing you make his life feel.

If you don’t give him enough attention, he gets really huffy, and it gets worse leading up to his rut.

You lifted your hands from his head to reach for your buzzing phone? He’s already whining and pouting and begging you to give him more head-pats again.

Nesting

He’ll leave hints asking for you to make a nest, usually saying things like “Our bed needs some changing, don’t you think?” “Don’t you wish our space was more personalized?”

If you don’t get the hint, he’ll be very sad, and he thinks you’re rejecting him. So you’d better be good at reading into things and realizing he’s approaching mating season and wants you to build a nest.

He comes home one day and sees you piled blankets, pillows, and dirty clothes in the living room, sprayed with his cologne and you’re cologne and/or perfume. He pulls you into his arms and spins around with you, giggling and laughing.

He’s so happy you made a nest for the two of you.

He starts putting pretty shiny things he likes around the nest. Your toothbrush went missing and you found it in the mountain that was your nest.

Once, you were in desperate need of a clean shirt, and the only clean shirt you could find was in the nest. So you picked it up to put it on, and two seconds later, Keigo was in front of you, hands in your shirt, staring at you with such a fierce intensity, you felt almost like a villain.

He was very mad at you for taking things from your shared nest.

He leaves feathers all around the penthouse, but they’re all piled mostly around the nest, they’re for your protection so don’t try and throw them away.

Noises

He also gets really noisy, so he’ll be ‘singing’ and squawking and cooing constantly. He feels really bad about it so he might get you some noise-blocking headphones for when he’s screeching into the sky in the dead of night about how “THIS IS MY FUCKING TERRITORY Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS STAY AWAYYYY!”

You really think bird’s springtime songs are about love? Nah he’s mostly screaming about how he’s gonna fuck his partner and how the neighborhood practically belongs to him.

Someone called the police once, tired of all the shouting, but the officers backed off when they saw who was doing all the shouting. Most of your neighbors are used to the screaming during early spring.

Rut End-game

On the third and second to last day before his rut, he gets a sudden burst of energy and an increased appetite. He refuses to eat anything unless you’ve made it though, so let’s best hope you can cook at least a little.

When he was younger, his hungry times before his rut were spent either eating anything and everything he can get his hands on. The commission broke that behavior very quickly though, so he’d starve himself before his rut, which would result in him getting very sick from a lack of energy and sustenance. That plus the extreme arousal was a recipe for pain and suffering.

So when you noticed he suddenly stopped eating, you insisted on making food for him, telling him that you wouldn’t let him go hungry ever. That was the first rut in years that didn’t feel like torture.

You’re cooking almost all the time, and he’s constantly eating everything you give him, running around from room to room while he waits for his next meal. He’s basically a hobbit.

In the last day or two before his rut, he suddenly has no energy, and starts getting hot and cold flashes. He’s sniffling, curled up in your shared nest, dirty tissues surrounding him. He comes in and out of consciosness, and when he’s awake, he’s whining and complaining about exhaustion and aches.

Physical Changes

Most of these happen in the last few days leading up to his rut, so it’ll be very sudden. These physical changes is what causes the extreme hunger and sickness.

His feathers darken several shades, and they become super sensitive. They also seem to grow in size, so when you cuddle, you’re smothered by them more than usual.

He also gains an extra couple inches in height, so expect some teasing now that he’s just that little bit taller. His hair also gets thicker and stronger, that’s so you can pull on it when he fucks you.

His nails get longer and darker, and they’re impossible to file or cut. So when he holds you and touches you, he often scratches you on accident. He’s really apologetic about it, but honestly you could totally paint his nails and pretend they’re acrylics if you’re into that.

His teeth get sharper, and he starts biting you just for fun. Bites your finger, hand, wrist, neck, even your nose. He underestimated just how strong his teeth are, and he made you bleed first time he bit you.

His whole body is very sensitive, so head-pats, back rubs, wings, and even his touching his feet can get him to the verge of cumming.

his tongue is longer, and it’s a whole lot stronger. He could probably carry a full plastic water bottle with his tongue (which isn’t a lot, but for a tongue it’s very much a lot).

His voice drops a whole octave and a half- mans is sounding almost like Corpse now. Maybe Markiplier? Anyways, if you’ve got a voice kink, you’re in luck

His dick changes too, it gets bigger, and he grows a lump at the base of it, between his shaft and balls. His balls get smaller until they’re barely noticable beneath what he calls him ‘knot.’

His eyes become sharper too, so don’t try and hide anything from him.

Rut (MAJOR NSFW)

Everyone already knows Keigo has a breeding kink, but he hasn’t brought it up with you until now. It just kind of- happens. As he’s drilling into you, he suddenly starts blabbering about fucking a kid into you, and how hot you’d look all round with his kids. Might be a little weird for those of you who physically cannot give birth to children (my lovely AMABS and infertile AFABS).

He can’t control it, so it’s especially weird if you don’t even want kids. If you can get pregnant, you’d better double check that you’re taking your birth control. And get to know some good clinics just in case.

However, if you do want kids, if you want to start a biological family woth Keigo, fuck. You will not be able to handle his happiness and horniness in that moment when you beg him to get you pregnant.

He is going to mark you up. Hickies, bruises, hand prints, bite marks, plus his scent. He needs everyone to know that you are his. He wants to claim you, make sure you know you belong to him. No one else can have you but him.

Halfway through your fuckfest, he starts making animalistic noises. He’s growling, roaring, whining, chirping, etc. This is around the time when he stops thinking about you, so he’ll really rough you up during this phase.

This man was a virgin before you, so this is also the first rut he’s ever going to have with another person, so he’ll hold himself back a lot. He needs you to reassure him at every step, tell him how good you feel, how you want him to fuck you, how not only are you okay with him going all out, you want him too.

Did he just cum? You think you’re finished? HA! No way in fucking hell is he finished after one, two, five, ten... so many rounds. He just keeps going and going and going and how the fuck is he still hard? He cums so fucking quickly, so much, and then keeps going.

When he finally does go soft, his whole personality changes. it’s like he didn’t just fuck you stupid. He immediately goes into ‘protect’ mode, which includes cuddles, him spoon-feeding you, petting you like a dog, and singing to you.

He puts the nest near a window so he can keep an eye out for possible threats. Just like “gotta keep mate safe. Is that the mailman? NO FUCK NO GET OUT OF HEREEEE!”

One moment, he’s fucking you, and the next he’s leaning halfway out the window, screaming at some poor dude walking his dog. Remember, he’s still naked. You learned your lesson after that and kept the windows locked, and warned the neighbors to stay out of sight of the window, at least for the time being.

You’re going to feel very dirty, because he does not want you cleaning off the sweat, cum, and tears from your body. He likes that you smell like him, and you washing it off makes him feel rejected.

He’s going to break a lot of things, so move pictures and vases into another room and lock the fuck out of that room. Or else he will break all of it.

He thinks any clothes you’re wearing are mocking him, so wear clothes you hate when his rut starts, then get used to being naked for a couple days.

Oh yeah, his whole rut lasts one to five days. He’s fucking you for about three days on average.

He fucks you until you faint, and then keeps going until he’s out of ‘fuck’ mode and into ‘protect’ mode. A few times, he fucked you unconscious in the middle of the afternoon and then kept fucking you until the sun rose.

Yeah, he’s got that much energy.

Don’t worry, during the whole time, he lets out pheromones with a strong vanilla-chocolaty scent that keeps your body and mind relaxed.

There’ve been times when he’s just fucking into you and your water bottle is just out of reach.

During his rut, he has no shame. Let’s hope your walls are soundproofed, or else your neighbors will all know how he fucks you.

He will not restrain you or hurt you in any way during his rut. So no degredation, no collars or chains, the only thing keeping you in the nest is his weight on top of you.

He gets upset if you try to touch yourself, things it’s you trying to tell him that he’s not satisfying you enough.

He wants you to cum as many times as him, which is difficult because of his increased sensitivity, so he’s using every skill he knows to get you cumming again and again and again.

Most of the time, he’s going hard, rough, and spilling absolute filth from his cock and mouth, but in the last few hours of his rut, he suddenly gets emotional.

He’s rocking up against you, holding you close to his body and blabbering about you

How much he loves you

How good you make him feel

How he wouldn’t want anyone else by his side for his rut

How you’re his mate for life

How he’ll protect you and keep you safe.

Please be gentle with him, he’s very vulnerable near the end of his rut, and he’ll cry very easily.

When he’s nearing his last load, he makes out with you sloppily, trying to talk as he shoves his tongue down your throat.

He finishes off by pushing his knot all the way inside you, and stays there for an hour.

This is the softest moment, and he’s covering your body in kisses.

His knot pushes these small eggs inside you, and you have the lovely job of pushing them all out the next day.

Post Rut

When his knot deflates, he finally pulls out and starts cleaning you off.

He’ll carry you around and finally gives you a bath, constantly making sure you’re okay.

He’ll give you lots of massages and he’ll cook for you. He’s constantly thanking you for helping him, telling you he didn’t deserve it.

Just kiss him on the cheek, tell him you had fun, and that you love him so very very much.

He needs the most reassurance now than ever before.

He’s also very tired, so you’ll be taking care of each other.

Then his ‘post-rut’ resets, and he sleeps for hours.

Then he gets super hungry, and the two of you make huge meals and just kinda binge eat for a day or two.

Then his physical changes go back to normal, and you have a happy lil bird boy who simps for you so hard

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago

Text

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 5

More people said yes to Hannigram, which is good because Will is already involved in the plot and it would be awkward to have him just disappear. Also, I had someone request a Hannigram x reader in my asks. Apologies to the one person who voted no; I promise there will be more solo Hannibal x reader content in the future.

Hannibal decides to that y/n could do with some extra protection, but doesn’t anticipate what she has to tell him.

I have no idea how to make a proper tag list but @deadman-inc-bikeshop and @dovahdokren here you go

Trigger warnings: discussions of alcohol, victim blaming

“When I saw his face, I immediately knew he had never once experienced the touch of his own hand, let alone that of a woman.” Charissa read out loud to everyone on staff. “Or, that he was buried so deep in the closet he found Narnia, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.”

It was expected to be a slow night, as was normal for an ordinary Tuesday. On nights like those, you could get away with more, like reading a tabloid article out loud for everyone to hear.

“I can’t believe [F/N] actually went public.” One of the new busboys commented. “What an absolute madlad.”

“Did you just unironically use reddit terminology in an actual conversation?” You narrowed your eyes at the kid.

“[F/N], you are making a very dangerous enemy.” An older waitress said, cryptically, from the corner of the room.

“Who, Jason?” You gestured to the busboy. “What’s he gonna do? Make me cringe myself to death?”

“You know that’s not who I mean.” She frowned. “I’m talking about Chase Mulvaney.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “He’s not stupid enough to come back here.”

Charissa made a noise that denoted her doubt. “I dunno, [F/N]. You’d have to be pretty stupid to start stabbing people at a crowded restaurant in broad daylight.”

“But he was smart enough to get away, right?” Jason asked. “That’s gotta count for something!”

You and Charissa exchanged glances. Neither of you had the emotional bandwidth to explain white privilege again. Instead, you just humored him.

“Yeah.” Charissa lied. “He was smart enough to get away, meaning he probably knows better than to come back.”

"You're kidding yourself." A third waitress, who's name you couldn't seem to place, added. "People always say that killers are these galaxy-brained superhumans, but they're not. Mulvaney believes he's divinely ordained, so any thought that pops into his coked-out head is a sign from god."

And so shattered your thin firmament of denial. You made a point to never learn this person's name just out of spite.

“Oh, shit.” You said, trying to hide your genuine fear with a sarcastic voice. “Maybe he is coming back for me.”

Charissa glared at the two other waitresses, equally pissed at them for scaring you.

"And it'll be your own fault for provoking him with that article." The older waitress said.

"Holy victim-blaming, batman." You mumbled.

“Alright, listen up, y’all.” Matthew announced to the group. “In ten minutes we open for dinner. Remember, if you want to switch shifts with another person, you have to run it by me first. I don’t want to see anybody but [F/N] at the bar tonight, capiche?”

“Yessir.” You saluted him and made your way over to the bar. You’d been doling out your bartending shifts left and right to avoid even the possibility of being cornered by another Freddie Lounds. You were only prolonging the inevitable, though. Eventually, you needed to return to the bar.

You passed the hostess's stand, where Charissa was stationed. Suddenly, you felt someone grab at your arm.

"Fucking hell, dude?!" You flinched violently and your heart rate jumped. "Don't do that!"

"Shit, sorry!" Charissa looked immediately regretful. "But, look!"

You followed her gaze through the window where a fancy car was parked. He leaned against the door, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.

Now your heart was beating fast for a completely different reason. You squeezed Charissa's hand, trying to keep a lid on your nervous excitement.

"I think your luck's starting to turn." She said in a sing-songy voice.

"Yeah, I bet he'll protect me from the Baltimore Butcher." You whispered, trying not to giggle like an elementary school girl.

"Oh, could you imagine those arms around you?" She sighed deeply, her hand firmly against her chest. "I would die."

"Not until he sinks his teeth into your neck." You smirked, gnashing your teeth together.

"I would let him." She rested her chin on her hand.

"Yeah, me too." You agreed.

"I would give anything to trade shifts with you." Charissa groaned.

"Well, you heard the boss." You shrugged, suddenly feeling much better about your assignment. "I gotta stay behind the bar."

"Oh, pobrecita." Charissa rolled her eyes. Underneath the stand, she put up her middle finger in your direction. "Suck a dick, [L/N]."

You walked backwards towards the bar, keeping your eyes on your friend. "That's the plan, baby."

You tried to make yourself look busy. You dared not look at him as he entered the restaurant.

He exchanged pleasantries with Charissa then took his seat at the bar. You pretended not to notice him right away, only to give you an extra second to compose yourself.

"Hi there." You greeted, knowing you'd feel stupid no matter what you said. "Er- good evening."

"[F/N] [L/N], I assume?" He asked.

Fuck, you thought. His voice was dark, low and made your insides tremble. Even though part of you knew he was going to know your name, it still felt so sensual passing his lips.

You realized you had waved to him with your bandaged hand. That's how he was about to identify you so quickly. "Yes, I am she. I mean- her. Me."

Way to go, dumbass. You thought. Now he knows you're nervous and he's going to wonder why.

“God, I need to stop wearing this damn thing.” You said, clearing your throat. “What can I get for you tonight?”

He was quiet for a moment. "What do you recommend?"

"Well, that depends." You said, pulling your gaze from him and grabbing a few wine glasses down from a high shelf. It was the only way you could maintain your composure.

"On?"

"What you're having for dinner, for one." You said. "And whether or not you're a vulpine tabloid journalist trying to corner me into a dubiously ethical interview. That's also a factor."

"So that's how Miss Lounds wore you down?" He concluded. "With wine?"

You rested your elbows on the bar, filled with an intoxicating confidence. "She tried wine first. Then she tried to get me fired because she asked for chardonnay and I brought her chablis. And when that didn't work, she siphoned my gas."

"I wish I could say that was out of character for her." He looked at you, apologetically.

"I take it you've had your own run-ins with Freddie?" You smiled.

"She's tried to infiltrate my practice multiple times." He sighed. "She's entered my office under a fake name with a recording device in her purse."

"What a sick fuck." You said, before remembering you really weren't supposed to curse in front of customers. You covered your mouth. "Sorry."

The corners of his mouth turned up into an amused smile. "Don't apologize. You're right."

“So you’re a doctor?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t the type to be offended by questions.

“I’m a psychiatrist.” He nodded. “I used to work as a surgeon, but I find the mind much more compelling.”

"Seriously, though." You pushed yourself back to your feet. "What can I get for you?"

He eyed the wine menu and then looked back at you. "What is your favorite red?"

"My favorite red?" You placed your hand on your collarbones. "On a night like this, I enjoy a nice, dry Argentinean Malbec."

"In that case," he thumbed through the list once more. "I'll have a bottle of Cobos Chañares from 2016, please."

You smiled. You wouldn't mind taking a sip of that if he offered. "Right away."

You carefully pulled the solid black bottle from its crevice and placed it on the bar. You removed the plastic seal and reached for the corkscrew. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop, filling the air around you with the strong, complex and seemingly contradictory aromas.

You poured a bit of this criminally expensive wine into his glass. He smelled it, then swirled it for a moment before taking a sip.

"Redcurrants and vanilla," he began. "With floral notes that operate with the precision of interlocking gears in a clock. Everything in its place."

"So you're a sommelier and a poet?" You tilted your head and filled his glass. "I'll bet you make women swoon at every corner."

You never had the best grasp on flirting, but even you knew that line was awful.

“Are you flirting with me, Miss [L/N]?” He asked, clearly not too worried about the consequences and enjoying the flattery. “Or are you just trying to get a taste of this Malbec?”

“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” You shrugged. “Though you are as handsome as everyone says, I’ve had my eyes on that wine for slightly longer.”

You fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. You had just broken the cardinal rule of workplace gossip. Panic reverberated through your body as you tried to break down his unreadable expression.

Once again, he just looked amused. “I’ve seen those lingering glances, the way you all whisper and giggle. It’s flattering.”

You felt your cheeks growing hot. “...I see.”

“If you tell me what they say about me, I’ll let you have a taste.” His eyes bored into yours.

You paused, trying to decipher exactly what he was offering. Then it hit you.

“Oh!” You interjected. “The wine.”

“Yes, that’s what I meant.” He said. “Dare I ask where your mind went?”

Your cheeks stung from all the uncomfortable smiling. “I’d really like to keep my job, thanks.”

“Have you never heard of bartender-client confidentiality?” His voice lowered and his eyes found your lips. “Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls.”

Your insides turned to jelly. He rested the wine glass in his hand and offered it to you. Your hands shaking, you cradled the glass like an 18th century French village prostitute being offered a mug of hot soup. You brought the glass to your lips, the strong, overwhelming smells assaulting your orifices.

You let the wine grace your tongue. You had taught yourself to overcome the sting of the alcohol and focus on the undertones. Your eyes rolled back in to your head and you let out a little noise of pleasure.

“Christ on a bike, that’s decadent.” You said, gasping for air a little bit. You quickly passed the glass back to him before Matthew could see you. “Thank you.”

“Now, indulge me.” He instructed, glancing at the fresh pink lipstick mark on his glass. “What do the lovely women of Terroir whisper while I’m just out of earshot?”

You rested your elbows on the bar and leaned in close. “They say you’re a vampire.”

Judging by his unchanging neutral expression, it clearly wasn’t the first time someone had made that connection. “Perhaps they’re on to something.”

“One of our line cooks used to say you were the devil.” You informed him, hoping that was one he hadn’t heard before.

“Used to?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Until Chase Mulvaney came around.” You instinctively ran your fingers over your bandages, as if to make sure they were still there. It was a nervous tick you’d developed anytime someone brought up that day. “He’s stopped talking about, like, anything having to do with his religion ever since.”

“It takes a lot to get an evangelist to stop evangelizing.” He refilled his glass. “Do you think he lost his faith?”

“I heard someone say in passing that it was because he and Chase Mulvaney went to the same church.” You whispered. “But I can’t verify that.”

“I’d say it’s more likely than a regular customer being a vampire, wouldn’t you?”

“I wouldn’t trust their word because they made a regular customer into a vampire.” You corrected, hoping he would overlook the fact that you were one of them. “Secrets may stay within these four walls, but they tend to bounce around. It’s only a matter of time before one escapes, and you’d better hope it’s not one of yours.”

This man must have been an exceptional therapist, because, there you were, baring your soul to him after fifteen minutes and one sip of wine. Occasionally, you were pulled away from the conversation by another customer who had the audacity to also want a drink. But, very few people came to you with the sole intent of drinking on a Tuesday evening. You and the sommelier talked until closing time.

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Miss [L/N].” He said pulling out his wallet. “You are as delightful in person as you are on paper.”

“Thank you, but I never caught-” you said, but stopped yourself. “I mean, you never gave me your name.”

He signed his name on the paper check, then pulled out a fifty and unceremoniously handed it to you. “Now why would you want to ruin the mystery?”

“Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls, remember?” You grinned and crossed your arms. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone.”

He took the customer copy of the receipt and scribbled something down on it. He the folded it in half and slid it in your direction as if it contained nuclear launch codes.

“Join me for dinner someday.” He ordered. “I’ll supply the Malbec.”

#hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter #hannibal nbc #hannibal x you #hannigram #hannigram x reader #the sommelier #wine #tw trauma #tw victim blaming #tw alcohol

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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 3 years ago

Text

How’s your head? Pt 1

Word Count - 2,600

Perspective - 2nd person

When - the Quarry, the day after “Quarter!” Find the Slowpoke Series and other stuff right here, friends!

Relationships - as always, you and the gang! But Part 1 of this particular story is just you and your bud Amy. The Daryl crush hadn’t formed yet, that starts to flicker in the story “Slowpoke,” so this part continues to follow “your” perception of him, as well as his season 1-2 character arc. And not to blaspheme, but this part actually mentions a crush that “you” have on (*gasp*) a different character

Genre - just some fluff and exposition, nothing too serious

Pronouns - reader is specified as being a woman in this one. But if you prefer to ignore it, go for it! This is reader-insert fanfiction, y’all, do what you want!

TWs - a few impolite words

“Hold up, they’re goin’ to Atlanta for supplies?”

“They’re going to Atlanta for supplies,” Amy confirms, visibly worried about it. Her big sister was going, too. She said that Andrea was trying to carve out her purpose in all this, and runs seemed to help give her purpose.

“But like, why not one of the smaller towns like we’ve done before?” you want to know. “The feds firebombed it! And, and everyone knows it was the big cities got ruined first, what with the sickness, then all the riots, the looting.”

“I guess, because the big cities were so packed, they were the first places people panicked and tried to leave so they wouldn’t catch sick,” she explains. “When Dale was rescued my sister and I, we saw the highway going out. It was completely jammed.” She gets teary and whispers “So many people trying to get out.”

You bite your lip.“I didn’t consider that part, that the cities were left emptier.”

Neither of you chose to voice that they were emptier now not only because it had been far easier to catch and spread the fever and turn into one of those things, meaning it was also easier to get bit or eat—um, sorry, not that word, you meant, um...to get bit and ‘attacked.’

You didn’t like acknowledging the other thing the sick people were doing.

Still, it seemed so risky. Sure the group could sneak and go quietly into the big city, but there were so many of them in there. The city must be horrific, especially when you consider the dead ones you'd encountered. Uh oh. You quickly try to think of anything else to get those images out of your head...

“I’m surprised you’re not going this time,” Amy comments.

“I was fixing to. Probably still would if it wasn’t to Atlanta,” you tell her. “I was wonderin’ why they wanted me to stay home for the next supply run.”

“The headaches?”

“Yeah, the migraines,” you subtly correct.

“How’s your head now? It’s gone, right?” she asked, referring to said migraine you’d gotten earlier.

“Oh yeah, I’m good, just feel really heavy.”

You got headaches on a fairly regular basis, and handled those fine. But you guessed that the barometric pressure or whatever must’ve been going wild (or you just had rotten luck; your triggers weren’t reliable), because in the past two weeks you’d also gotten five migraines – and those aren’t something that can be handled as easily. For you, a visual disturbance would start things off, followed by the pain and the rest of the fun stuff like light and sound sensitivity and nausea, then heavy exhaustion when it was over.

Luckily, your migraines weren’t always dramatic, but when they were, you obviously weren’t at your best.

And now your understood why Jacqui had talked with you yesterday and firmly suggested that you stay home for the next run, since it was going be further than usual. She just didn’t mention that “further than usual” meant Atlanta.

Amy fluttered her eyelashes at you and said “We’ll simply have to have fun together here, I guess.”

So you press a hand over your brow and pretend to whimper in your best uppity accent “How positively dreadful, whatever shall we do? And so close to your birthday!”

You were definitely disappointed about the run, though. Firstly because you’d been asked to stay, and that made you feel self-conscious and useless, secondly because you had to miss out on helping. You liked feeling useful and feeling like you belonged, and helping on supply runs made you feel useful and that you belonged.

You’d actually found it easier to deal with your depression since the fall of everything, because it had given you a clear purpose: protect your loved ones. But if you felt useless, like you weren’t doing enough to help them and protect them, then it was much easier for those dips in your mood to affect you much harder.

Also, you and Glenn had been competing with each other on runs for various things, usually about who was faster. You were finding that you really liked him.

“Don’t worry.” Amy grinned and rested her chin on her hands. “Glenn will still think you’re cool even if you miss this one.”

You purse your lips. “Amy.”

She tilts her head playfully at you. “You’re both friendly and goofy, and he’s cute, and we’re all like the same age, so what’s wrong?”

“Oh my gosh, not to deflect but thank you for saying I’m goofy.” You lean forward to share this detail about yesterday. “So during the last lesson, you know how we re-went over making a proper fist and all, right?”

Amy nods.

“Luis asked me if I’d ever broken a finger ‘when’ I’d punched someone. When, not if!”

You heave a sigh, then have to laugh a little. “I spent the rest of the day worryin’ if that’s the impression I give. I mean, kids are honest when it comes to stuff like that.”

“That’s not the worst impression to give out these days,” she mutters, almost to herself.

“Oh. So I do come across like that,” you accept quietly. You attempt a happy face. “You’re right, it – it could be worse.”

But to your relief, she now she looks confused and shakes her head. “No, that’s not what I meant. Luis most likely assumed that because you like teaching them self-defense. I never got that vibe from you.

“Good,” you answer in a really deep tone of voice, play-flexing your arms in the hopes of deflecting from how self-conscious Luis' comment made you feel about how you present yourself.

She snorts and insists “I’m being honest, I never got that impression from you, of all people. I was only saying that I myself wouldn’t mind giving out that sort of vibe sometimes.” There was something that didn’t sit well with you about the expression on her face right then.

You could feel your blood pressure starting to raise. “Did Carol’s husband or one of the Dixon brothers say somethin’ to you? Something inappropriate?”

“Merle says crude things to every person here. And as you’ve experienced, Ed just either leers or glares at us,” she said, referring to the women of the camp. Ugh, and yesterday night when you walked by his and Carol’s tent, he’d loudly referred to the homework assignment you given to build a stick cabin by asking “how deep did she reach into her ass to pull out that idea?”

“Are you tellin’ me the truth? Did they make you feel unsafe at all?” you press, while simultaneously trying to relax yourself so you wouldn’t seem so hot-headed.

“Cross my heart.” She was peering at you thoughtfully now. “Okay, I think I solved it: it’s that you’re protective, in a good way, especially of the kids.” A shrug and a smile. “Luis would feel comfortable asking you about ‘when’ you punched someone because he feels safe with you and is confident that you’d defend him from things that could hurt him. That’s a very high compliment.” Then she makes you feel even better by adding “And you know how honest kids are when it comes to stuff like that.”

By now you’re not sure if you can speak much because your voice might sound all wobbly. She did not need to go so hard with being so kind, yet she did because that was the type of person that she was. “Amy? I love you and you’re my best friend and I love you,” you repeat.

“I know, and I love you too,” she replies, mouth twisting into a half-smile. “And to think: we’ve known each other the exact same amount of time as you and you-know-who.”

“Ugh, but I don’t know him well enough yet for anything more than friendship,” you whine.

“That’s what dates are for, silly.”

“No way. I would only feel comfortable with that sort of thing if I knew the person very well.”

“And yet you said you’d ‘marry T-Dog in a heartbeat.’ Have you ever dated?”

“T-Dog is a very good man, one would be blind to not see it, he just ain’t in my age range. Anyways, I haven’t really dated, not really.” Crushes yes, but when you learned that someone had a crush on you? Fear and friend-zoning. It was something you were working on fixing in yourself. “It just works differently for me. I’m slow-to-open when it comes to romantic things.”

“What about Surinder, though?”

Your heart feels both light and heavy when you think about him. “We were good friends and liked each other. But we were both very slow, and wouldn’t pursue nothing further until we were very certain it could work.”

She groans “That’s both sweet and exasperating.”

“Oh hush,” you crack up. “It was nice to be on the same page. And he was handsome, and his sister was my best friend.”

“But then he decided to become a priest. The celibate kind.”

“Hey, he realized he might could’ve been called to be a priest, it’s different. It works different how they do it,” you laugh. It was good that you could laugh about it now. You knew that the seminary where he’d been studying had been razed back when things were at their peak. It was awful. Suri didn’t deserve to go out like that. “Anyways, as soon as I know someone I like like is taken, I stop pinin’ immediately. It’s a gift.”

She pouts. “Maybe for my birthday I’ll insist on dolling you up. I want to see how nervous Glenn gets.”

“Oo, what do you want to do for your birthday?” you ask excitedly. “Well, your pre-birthday?” Her actual birthday wasn’t for a few days.

“Well, I was thinking...”

You rub your hands together and smile in anticipation. All of you were determined to make her birthday nice, given the end-of-the-civilized-world situation you found yourselves in. Andrea has been looking around on runs for the perfect present for her, she was thinking jewelry. Carol had tucked away the best tasting MREs her husband had been hoarding. Miranda and Mr. Morales were keeping aside some pudding cups.

And you yourself had lucked out the other week; at this bait and tackle shop, you’d managed to find this children’s three-pack of walkie talkies that looked like cell phones! Amy really missed texting. Now, the walkies didn’t have the biggest range, but they were cute (and rainproof!), so she’d still get a kick out of them. Plus, she often did radio duty when she wasn’t on kid duty, so you were very pleased with your find.

Amy gazes out of your tent in the direction of the quarry with a twinkle in her eye. She finally bursts out “I wanna do the chicken swim across the quarry!”

Oh noo. You love to swim, but deep water and you didn’t mix well! Yeah, you made a point to push yourself to get over your fears (except for dating), but, but, but...swim the quarry?! You struggle to keep your face calm. You breathe.

It was her birthday and she deserved a happy, carefree, fun one. “Okay,” you agree. “Ch-chicken swim across the quarry.”

“It’s good that you’re nervous! I’m nervous too!” She claps her hands. “It’s gonna be so terrifying and fun that we’ll be shaking by the end of it!”

A nervous sound comes out of you unwillingly. “So other than braving the deep-water quarry monster and riskin’ certain death,” you start, Amy chuckling at your wording, “What else you wanna do?”

“Let’s paint nails after.” She looks wistfully up at the sky. “Then I could probably eat a whole tray of cupcakes by myself,” she wishes out loud. “Red velvet cupcakes and vanilla with rainbow sprinkles.”

You frown in solidarity, but smile on the inside to know that Mr. Morales and Miranda had those pudding cups saved for her. But you could totally find some sprinkles, too. “I might can convince Daryl to go on a run to a town nearby with me instead of a hunt. People can’t have pilfered all the snacks yet.”

She crossed her arms and leaned back. “Daryl is interesting, isn’t he?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Here I thought that you secretly had a crush on Glenn, too.”

“Well, Glenn is funny and cute,” she admits. “But I was only thinking – objectively – that Daryl is...interesting.”

You tilt your head as you consider. “You mean what went on with the last lesson?”

“Yeah! How could you not be intrigued?”

“Amy, just imagine how he’d treat a woman, though. How’d he’d treat his kids –”

“But that was the interesting thing: he treated the kids well, didn’t he? He walked over and started to help out.”

“For all we know, it’s because he wants to feel ‘em up.”

Amy makes a face and seems to weigh that option. “I don’t get that feeling from him at all. He almost seems like he’s not into anyone that way. You said he immediately looked away from my chest after the squall, no one else there had that reaction other than Dale, you said.”

“True.” It was why you decided he was safe to ask to teach you to hunt. There’d been a squall one of the first days here, Amy had on a white shirt and a thin bra, a mistake she’ll never make again. Both Dixons had been there, and Daryl’s gaze immediately turned away.

“Have you ever gotten the prey feeling when you’re around him? Perhaps, say, when you go out hunting with him alone?” she points out.

“I go with a big-ass knife and a taser, plus he knows Shane will murder him if any harm comes to me,” you declare, waving that off. “And...no. I’ve never gotten the prey feelin’ around him, you’re right.” You bite your lip. “And he didn’t get very close to the kids, just sorta briefly adjusted their positioning. Seemed uncomfortable even doin’ that.”

“And then he checked his pockets for quarters, and kept a tally of how many he owed the kids.”

“Amy has a crush on Daryl Dixon,” you monotone.

Now she’s the one pursing her lips. “I have a crush on Jordan back at grad school. I give the benefit of the doubt to Daryl.” She pauses. “But I can admit that his shoulders are nice and broad.”

“Mm, that’s true.” It was. They were nice and broad. Pretty eye-color, too. And there was something about his gait that was, dunno, pleasing.

“Besides, it’s not like I can dish to you about how cute I think Shane is, he’s your brother!”

“Ugh, and Shane knows he’s handsome, tell you what.” You stifle a groan. “He still shaves his chest.”

She can’t stop from giggling now. “Of course I’ve noticed that,” she teases. “My sister thinks he’s hot.”

“He does tend to wander around with his shirt barely buttoned,” you groan, not bothering to stifle this one.

“Pickings are slim, it’s either gonna be Shane, T-Dog, Jim,” she counts. “Or Daryl. Glenn’s too young for her.”

“How excellent that Glenn’s the perfect age for you, then,” you remind her.

“Or you,” she pointedly reminds you back.

“Why wouldn’t your sister go for Teddy, though, he’s like the best,” you wonder out loud. “And Jim was a family man.”

“Jim’s not in any place yet.” The poor man. Watched his wife and children get eat– um, get attacked by the sick people. You weren’t ready to use the actual verb for what happened to someone when the roamers caught them.

“All I’m saying,” Amy finishes, “Is that your brother is...objectively –”

“You and that word,” you joke, sticking your tongue out.

She sticks her tongue back at you. “Your brother is objectively the hottest man in the camp right now.”

You roll your eyes and lift your hands in pretend surrender. “I was kinda noticing that...I dunno, Shane seems to be holdin’ something for Lori.”

“Mm, I could see that,” Amy says.

“Yeah. Well, he’s known her for ages, known Carl since before he was born.” You exhale. “Then he sort of threw himself into keepin’ them and me safe after Rick, um, y-you know. After.” Now you shrug. “Recently, I’ve noticed that it might could’ve started to turn into something else.”

Whoa, what the– oh no. Something just bumped into your tent from the outside, and heavily.

You fumble around for the taser and immediately give it to Amy as you whip the out the knife you keep under your pillow.

No way one of them could’ve gotten into the camp. No way in hell.

Right?

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realcube · 4 years ago

Text

hq!! boys with a short s/o

navi | masterlist | taglist

thanks to anon for this cute request

characters: kenma, noya, bokuto, & oikawa

trigger warning: swearing, sexual references,

kenma kuzome

♡ bc you’re smol you can slip into his lap while he plays on his switch and since he can just peer over your shoulder, he lets you

♡ also bc you are so - in his own words - compact..he kinda goes a bit rough on you bc he doesn’t know his own strength sometimes

♡ like he comes back from practise - having just bet up lev who’s like double his height, then pretends as though he’s the gentlest, most cuddly guy alive

♡ for instance, if you sit on his lap while he’s doing something important, he’ll push you off but bc he is quite strong and you’re quite small, you literally go flying across the room

♡ he also like the fact that he can place his chin on top of your head while hunched over

♡ bc his posture is horrible which means that most ppl are up to his nose when he’s standing comfortably (and by comfortably i mean when his back is lookin like the letter c)

♡ but not you though bb

♡ he can rest his chin on your head WHILE messing up his back so thanks 💞

♡ also this is kinda unrelated but he probably enjoys seeing you cosplay as some of his favourite characters that are around your height

♡ idk he just seems like that sorta guy lol

♡ probably likes it when y’all get dirty in cosplay too yk

♡ and he constantly compares you to anime characters/ video game characters then makes comments accordingly lol

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

upon feeling kenma’s eyes momentarily shift from his nintendo switch onto you, your immediate response was to meet his gaze, shooting him a brief smile which quickly fell into frown upon hearing his following statement, “you’re around the same height as meliodas from seven deadly sins.”

you blinked rapidly, about to shrug him off and go back to whatever you were doing under you heard a “disgusting.” slip from his lips..so pounced on him.

“KENMA! YOU CAN’T JUST CALL ME DISGUSTING BECAUSE I’M A SIMILAR HEIGHT TO AN ANIME CHARACTER YOU DON’T LIKE! DON’T YOU HAVE AN--” to which kenma will just laugh and pretend like he’s trying to pry you off him when he’s actually really enjoying the feeling of you on top of him.

yū nishinoya

♡ he is the short king™

♡ so he’s honestly so happy that not only does he get to be in the presence of his soulmate, but you’re also shorter than him 😍

♡ and i think having a shorter s/o would really help him with his body image

♡ sorry to get serious on y’all so quick but i kinda think noya is secretly VERY insecure

♡ he just has a ‘fake it till you make it’ sort of attitude in regards to his confidence

♡ but having a shorter s/o - especially if you’re really powerful, strong, confident or outspoken - would really give him an ego boost bc not only is he like ‘yep! that’s my star!’ but also everything you do is just so impressive to him

♡ also since you’re around the same height as him, sometimes he forgets that he can’t just jump on you and expect for you to hold his weight like he does with asahi, tanaka, tsukishima etc

♡ so now you’re always on hyperalert when you pick him up from practise just in case he tackles you to the ground again

♡ it’s happened multiple times even when you were paying close attention though so i’d suggest just wearing a helmet next itme

♡ YJUHGFF he’s definitely the sort of guy to hype you up to his friends after you do the bare minimum

♡ and he ALWAYS mentions your height unless you tell him to stop

♡ (he just wants his friends to know that just bc they are vertically gifted, they are no better than you or him >:(( keep em humble, yk? )

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“yep! they’re getting their photo taken at this professional modelling company thingy with all those cool, chunky camera and the bright lights! they’re basically a model- and a few inches smaller than me so, perhaps short is the new sexy.” noya boasted with a casual shrug, feeding off of the amazing looks he was getting from hinata, tanaka and yamaguchi.

upon noticing that yamaguchi was falling for nishinoya’s exaggerations, tsukishima chimed in, “short is definitely not the new sexy.” and before nishinoya could retort, tsukki hummed, “anyway, model, huh? what brand are they modelling for?”

noya’s lips curled into a bright smile and he clicked his tongue, almost to say ‘glad you asked’, before declaring proudly, “their passport!”

kōtarō bokuto

♡ another one that doesn’t know his own strength

♡ especially around you

♡ like he squeezes you SO tight when hugging that you basically suffocate

♡ and his grip on your hand is always unreasonably strong too so never let him hold your dominant hand or else you won’t be able to hold a pencil for another week

♡ and sometimes he pinches your cheek when he thinks you look especially babey and jesus christ he could leave a bruise

♡ god forbid you’re watching him practise and he makes a killer spike then he turns to look at you with starry eyes--

♡ ...

♡ RUN 🏃‍♂️💨

♡ mans will chase you around the whole gym to pick you up and twirl you to celebrate his spike

♡ the problem occurs when he holds you so close to him that you suffocate from his reek of BO

♡ he spins so fast that it makes you feel extremely sick and dizzy

♡ ALSO let’s not forget that one time he accidently let go of you a few seconds to early and you went fucking flying across the gym and landed on onaga’s water bottle

♡ not only did you have to awkwardly hobble to the bathroom with soaking wet leggings so you could change into your spare pair, you also felt obliged to buy onaga a new water bottle

♡ if you tell him to be gentler plz do it nicely or else he will be sad :((

♡ yeah he treats you like you’re his 7″0, ripped, basketball player s/o but you’re not

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

why were you here? why did you think this was a good idea to say yes to? oh, yeah, it because he gave those adorable damn puppy eyes that you are physically incapable of saying no to. on the bright side, perhaps he can use those puppy eyes to get you a free hearse driver for your funeral - which was sure to be soon.

through, your funeral planning was cut sort by bokuto chirping, “are you ready, babe?!”

you sighed, arms outstretched as he stood with his back facing you, ready to trust fall onto you once you gave the ‘ok’. or so you thought.

“yeah, bo. go o--” you couldn’t even finish your sentence before you felt bokuto’s muscular back suddenly weigh down on your arm. you tried to hold him up, - you really did - but both the surprise of it and his weight was enough to make you come crashing down with him.

“(y/n)! you had one job!”

tōru oikawa

♡ you’re his baby

♡ or at least, he treats you like one sometimes

♡ he says he treats you like a prince(ss) but everyone knows that he acts like you’re his first born child

♡ bc he literally carries you everywhere

♡ taking a brisk stroll on the beach? oikawa will force you to get on his back and use the excuse that he doesn’t want your clothes to get dirty

♡ you’re in the mall and you even suggest that your feet are sore/ you’re tired? he’ll carry you bridal style anywhere you want to go - literally does not care if people are giving him weird looks

♡ drunk? he’ll throw you over his shoulder and carry you home

♡ just chilling on the couch? he’ll approach you, scoop you up into his arms and walk around the house

♡ it annoys you sometimes but it can really come in handy other times

♡ like for instance, at a festival

♡ if you both get stuck at the back and you’re struggling to see the stage bc of all the literal giants looming in front of you, he’ll let you hop on his shoulders 🥺

♡ he probably teases you for it though lol

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“awh, can the small one not see the stage?”

you furrowed your brows, outstretching your arms to him - probably the first time you ever actually asked him to pick you up, so you prayed that he'd take you up on your first offer without you having to beg. “yeah, can you help?”

this oikawa you’re talking to; the petty king. so instead, he gave you some solemn advice before turning his attention back onto the performance, “try growing a few inches-- who am i kidding? a few feet.”

“rude.” you spat, fretfully looking around for a moment before coming to terms with the fact you’re not going to be able to see the performer, so you decided to just try vibe with the music instead.

“(y/n).” you heard oikawa call from beside you, so you turn your head to look at him then noticed that he was crouched on the ground, “what are you waiting for? get on.”

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spiderlilyserendipity · 4 years ago

Note

omg violet you write so well!! if you can, could you write a taehyung nsfw of while on vacation, tae's girlfriend wakes him up early with kisses and promises to do "whatever he wants" if he gets up with her and explores the city and tae holds her to that promise when they get back to their hotel starting with some steamy (private) hot tub sex?

Anon, you are awesome but you have ruined my brain. I got so carried away writing this fic, it is double the size I thought it would be. Many thoughts, head full typa situation. Thank you. This one is titled Only One. Enjoy <3

WC: 4475

Genres: Smut, fluff, angst

Tags: established relationship, anniversary dinners, tae x oc take a trip to Paris

Warnings: dom/sub relationship, dom!taehyung, sub!reader, sir kink, punishment, praise kink, use of the word slut once, colour system as a safeword, insecurity, possessiveness, possessive sex, aftercare, taehyung is very 🥵🥵🥵 in this one y’all

(*Cis female reader*)

“Y/N, Y/N, should we take a picture over there?” Taehyung asks, batting his eyes cutely.

You smile but roll your eyes at Taehyung’s enthusiasm.

Not to be mistaken, if there’s anyone who loves their boyfriend, it’s you. You would live and die for Kim Taehyung, but there’s a special reason for your eyeroll today.

It has been only two weeks since Taehyung got off tour, and at that a world tour. You know Taehyung must be very tired from constantly travelling, hence why you let your boyfriend get his full rest the first week. But the thing is you haven’t seen your lover in a year, and you want to make some memories with him.

You know he will get too busy once the post-tour lull passes over everyone at the company and everything goes back to regular schedule. Then, Taehyung will get sucked away by album preparations, promotions once it’s out, and inevitably: another tour.

You love that Taehyung gets to do what he loves for a living. You also love how cool he looks on stage. But most of all you like getting to spend time with him.

To be honest, you were going to go see Taehyung in Paris during the European leg of the tour. It had been your anniversary, and the two of you had plans to get dinner together and enjoy the city. But then life happened and your plans came crashing down, preventing you from seeing Taehyung until the tour ended months later.

But past you had thought quickly, knowing the day Taehyung would return home and shifted your ticket instead of cancelling. So a week after Taehyung got home, you presented him with a second plane ticket to Paris, France that you bought last minute just for him.

You thought Taehyung would agree with making up for your missed anniversary, but Taehyung had frowned instead. “Babe, I seriously don’t want to go anywhere for a while. I’m sick of hotels and planes.”

“But I’ve never been there, baby. It would be so romantic!” You convinced him eventually, your pout winning him over. Taehyung had sighed, then called his manager to let him know.

So excited from Taehyung agreeing, you had leapt up into his arms and kissed him like crazy. “Ahhh! I’m so excited!”

Taehyung had held back a grin. “Okay. But no touristy stuff.”

You pout. “But that’s the most fun part!” When Taehyung pouts back, you try to convince him again. “Baby, I promise I’ll seriously do anything you say if you do all the embarrassing touristy stuff with me.”

“Anything?” Taehyung asked you, arching a brow.

You took his hand, nodding eagerly. “Anything. Let’s just have fun!”

Taehyung grinned at you. “You better keep your word.”

You had kissed him, grinning at him. He watched you with a fond smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You bet I will.” You vow.

It isn’t until you actually land in Paris that you realize what anything Taehyung is imagining.

For all his great qualities, Taehyung is not subtle about what he wants. Especially when he wants you.

The first three days, Taehyung lets you drag him around under the condition that you both wear disguises to avoid being noticed. You comply, picking odd hours of the day for activities that would be very busy at other times of day. You hit all the touristy spots in early mornings before the crowd, hide away in small tucked away cafes and restaurants with Taehyung during lunch hour, then spend the day browsing vintage stores for jewellery and clothes.

It’s all fun and games except for the teasing that Taehyung will not stop. It’s hard for you to name a time of day where Taehyung’s big hands hadn’t been resting on your waist or his lips idly pressing a kiss to your cheek in passing. You know very well the game Taehyung is playing. He is slowly working you up, getting you used to his constant touches. Then, he will withdraw them, leaving you needy.

Despite Taehyung’s teasing, the two of you still have a great time. You buy souvenirs for your friends and things for yourself. Taehyung also buys you clothes and jewellery, loving to spoil you. But what you love the most are the small establishments he brings you to, full of tasty food and where no one knows his name. You know the game Taehyung is playing, but you let him guide you to an isolated table towards the back and feed you food off his own utensils. You let him wipe the corner of your mouth for some smeared sauce, let him lick it off his thumb. Sometimes, you even get a little on your face on purpose. Taehyung notices when you do that, and lets you get away with it. After all, this isn’t a favour he’s doing you. This is your anniversary trip. He can’t be the only one getting away with teasing.

The following three days, the two of you hit the museums. Taehyung shows you around, explaining things he had seen on previous trips to Paris. You listen to him, happier to see him happy than to really look at the art. You take pictures of your boyfriend inside the museum and really anywhere it won’t catch too much attention.

Over those three days, Taehyung’s touches decrease. He reduces it little by little, but you know him well by now. Taehyung isn’t trying to be subtle, rather the opposite. He wants you to notice, to get riled up when his touch is gone.

You tell yourself you don’t mind it, but both of you know it’s a lie. You ignore the smirk on Taehyung’s face every time you intertwine your hands or wrap an arm around his waist to guide him through the back roads. You will get back at him at dinner tonight.

After lunch on the final day, you tell Taehyung to head back to the hotel on his own. You say you are going to buy a new dress for your dinner date tonight, and that you want it to be a surprise for him. Chuckling, Taehyung just passes you his blackcard and tells you to have fun.

You buy a dark green coloured gown, Taehyung’s favourite colour, and a matching necklace and earrings set of emeralds. You smile at the sight of your ass being cupped by the silky material. This is sure to drive Taehyung mad. After all, tonight is the final night. Both of you know exactly how tonight will end.

You catch a cab to the five star Taehyung made a reservation at. You pay the taxi driver excitedly, getting out in your all new outfit, new heels, and even a new purse! You were sure to impress Taehyung.

You walk into the restaurant, telling the waiter who you’re here with. He lets you in, guiding you upstairs to your table.

You frown as you see your table. From this angle, you can’t see who, but Taehyung is talking to a woman. You approach quietly, catching neither of their attention. Luckily (or unluckily) for you, they’re talking loudly. You don’t speak much French but you don’t need it to deal with this woman. You hear her mention the word “model” and a woman’s clothing brand. You hear her repeat “model” a second time as she blatantly roams her eyes down Taehyung’s figure, then up at him. That’s the part that makes your blood boil. You know she is aware of your presence. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what kind of relationship you and Taehyung have.

But she still challenges you anyway, openly eyeing your man in public. If you could speak more French than basic small talk you would rip her a new one.

Fuck it. You think, making your way across the room. Who needs to know the language?

“Oh, baby.” You say in a sweet voice. They both look over at you. The woman looks visibly irritated, pursing her perfect lips in annoyance. What a shame you like to flirt with other women’s men. You think, slightly in awe at her beauty. I’d like you in any other situation. “Is this a friend?” You ask.

You see a hint of a smile before Taehyung bites it back. “No, Y/N. We just met tonight.”

You smile pointedly at the woman. She frowns at you. “Ah, I see. Well, it was nice meeting you. We haven’t had dinner yet, so.” You say, pretending to be apologetic for cutting the conversation short. All three of you know you’re not, but it’s the thought that counts. Or doesn’t. You couldn’t care less.

“Colour.” Taehyung asks the minute you’re back in the hotel room.

“Green.”

“Poor baby. Got so angry that I took my eyes off you, huh?” Taehyung teases, hooking his fingers in the band of your underwear. He pulls back, making it snap against your hips. You whimper. “What’s that? Are you trying to say something?” Taehyung taunts you.

He cranes his head to look at you. He cups your face and makes you look at him. He makes a fake-worried face. “That’s odd, you were talking perfectly fine a few hours ago. Was it something in the food that’s making you feel sick or are you just embarrassed from being a possessive little slut in front of sir?”

His words make you shiver. He grins as he feels it against his own abdomen. “It seems like you’re really sick, Y/N. I guess we'll just have to go to bed.”

He begins to unwind his arms from around your waist, but you grab them, holding them against your skin. “S-Sir.” You whisper.

“There’s my girl.” Taehyung says proudly, rewarding you with a kiss to your temple. “Let’s talk about what you did wrong tonight, shall we?”

“I-I was possessive. I got jealous because you were talking to that model.”

Taehyung’s eyes flicker at the last word. “Oh, you heard?” He snaps the band of underwear against your skin again. You wriggle, but he refuses to let you go. “What a bad girl. Eavesdropping on sir’s conversations. What if she had been a potential colleague and you ruined everything? But you didn’t think of any of that, only your. own. feelings.” He emphasizes each of the three words with another smack. “You’re just an ungrateful little slut, aren’t you? I bet you would open your legs for any man that offered you this kind of treatment, huh?” He growls in your ear.

“I-I’m sorry.” You whisper, voice cracking.

Taehyung stops. “Colour.” He says, thumbs gently stroking at your sides.

“Green.”

“Y/N.” He repeats more firmly. You sniffle. A tear rolls down your cheek. Taehyung thumbs it away immediately. “We don’t have to. I’m sorry. Do you want to take a bath together? We can cuddle after. Anything you’re comfortable with baby.”

You shake your head, looking away from him. “I’m really okay. I...I want my punishment.”

Taehyung turns you to look at him. He watches your face, looking for any unwillingness. He cups your face and makes you look at him. He smiles finally when he sees the familiar, hazy look in your eyes. You are already slipping into subspace.

“Follow me.” Taehyung says.

You walk behind him, still naked except for your panties. Taehyung is still entirely clothed in his suit and tie. He leads you to the fancy living room of the suite, and closes the curtains. You wait until he sits down to approach him. You observe his spread legs and the stern look in his eye. The air in the living room is freezing cold, but it only adds to it. This is one of the many things you love about Taehyung. How incredibly sexy he looks when he is in control.

Without being asked, you get on the sofa on your hands and knees. You drape your body over Taehyung’s lap, ass up in his lap. You fold your arms over the sofa’s armrest, turning your head to look at Taehyung.

Taehyung’s warm hand caresses your ass. He kneads at the flesh roughly without breaking eye contact with you. On the outside, he looks indifferent, dark eyes sultry. He makes it look like he couldn't care less if it was you or another sub being bent to his will. But you know it’s part of the scene, that he’s watching you this intensely for your reaction and it is only your reaction he ever wants in a setting like this.

“You can safeword out if you need to.” He reminds you. You nod, putting your head against the armrest. “Count.” He tells you, before the first smack comes down.

You flinch on instinct, but his arm pins the backs of your thighs down. “One.”

Another smack but to the other cheek. You hiss under your breath. “Two.”

Taehyung gives the next three in succession. “F-Five.”

“Colour?” Taehyung re-checks. You reply green again. He delivers two more. “Six, ah, seven.”

The next two smacks are harsher. “Eight, nine一!” As you’re counting, Taehyung gives the final one. This one is the hardest of all, making the two of you sink a little lower into the sofa. “T-Ten.”

You are crying now, falling deeper into your subspace. Taehyung’s warm hands smooth over the places they hit. His voice murmurs sweet nothings in your ear, reassuring you.

“S-Sorry.” You continue to cry. “I didn’t mean to be like that.”

“I know.” Taehyung reassures you. He helps you up into a sitting position. It burns to sit on your still painful ass, but you do so anyway because it’s Taehyung who asks you to do it. “You took my punishment very well, Y/N, just like a good girl.”

You shake your head, sniffling. “I don’t wanna be ‘a good girl’, I wanna be your good girl.” You say. Taehyung frowns slightly as he wonders what that means, then looks shocked when he realizes what you’re saying.

“You are my good girl, baby.” He says softly, wiping away your tears. “No one but you.”

“But i-it was our a-anniversary dinner and you were letting her flirt with you. You just一just let her do it. And when I called you baby at the restaurant, you only called me Y/N.” You confess, giving up your fake confident act. The truth is that despite your anger in the moment, you had felt very insecure. It wasn’t like you could blame the woman for finding your boyfriend hot, anyone would. But the fact that Taehyung never said anything back and just put up with it instead of correcting her bothered you. Was it embarrassing to admit he was dating you in front of a woman who was so obviously his equal in elegance? This thought bothered you throughout the whole dinner.

You didn’t plan on telling Taehyung about it, since he didn’t know you sometimes felt this way. One of the reasons you insisted on travelling to make up for your missed anniversary was this doubt. Maybe if you showed him around this fancy city and you made good memories with him, he might appreciate it. Maybe then it would ease your doubt of if you were worthy enough to be his.

You had never admitted this aloud to anyone, but you actually wondered If Taehyung had women in other countries that he went on dates with during tour. You know Taehyung is a good person but after all, he is a young man with sexual needs. And at that, a very attractive man who could get with just about any woman he wanted. So yes, seeing him talk to the very attractive woman had angered you, but it also made you feel like your worst fears might be true.

“Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Taehyung pleads you, his worried brown eyes searching your face for any answers.

“...Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, my love.” Taehyung responds. “Ask me anything you want, baby.’

You sniffle. You play with his suit blazer. “Can you promise to not get mad at me?”

Taehyung looks like he might cry when you ask that. “I promise.”

“When you go away for tour...is there anyone else?” You watch your own tears fall onto Taehyung’s dress shirt. Taehyung looks shaken. “It might seem random but I’ve always wondered. I promise I’m not just acting up because of tonight.”

Taehyung continues to watch you, looking worried and at a loss for words. You put on a fake smile. “Sorry, it’s probably nothing. Let’s just go to bed.”

Taehyung holds you by the waist, stopping you from getting up. “Y/N.”

“I said it’s fine. It’s okay. Really, even if you had another woman. I can’t control what you do when you’re not with me. A year is too long for a couple to spend apart anyway, it’s only natural that your feelings would change. It’s okay. Anyway,” You breathe shakily. “Anyway I’m still yours. As long as you like, of course.”

“Of course I like it.” Taehyung insists, tears glistening in his eyes. “I love you. Tell me how long you’ve felt like this.”

You hesitate. “Y/N.” There it is again, that firm tone that you hate outside of scenes.

You look down at your hands. “Maybe two years?”

Taehyung is crying now, and he cups your face in his hands. “You’ve been thinking like this for two years? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“...I didn’t want to burden you. You’re really busy on tour.”

Taehyung purses his lips. “Can I show you there’s no one else?”

You nod. Taehyung lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He holds you by the backs of your thighs instead of your ass, careful not to hurt you. “The bed?” He asks. You consider the feeling of the rough sheets against your sore ass.

You shake your head. “C-Can we use the hot tub?”

Taehyung kisses your forehead. “Anything for you.”

Taehyung sets up the hot tub for both of you. He takes your panties off for you, sliding them down your legs. He kisses you deeply, sweetly. You whimper into the kiss, his tongue completely in control of your mouth. When you part, a strand of saliva comes loose. When you part far enough, the saliva ends up on your chin. Taehyung wipes it with his thumb. A darkness has entered his eyes again. “Get in. Let me show you how much I love you.”

You get in the hot tub, relishing the feeling of the hot water. It stings a bit, but it’s easier to sit then the bed would have been. You sit with your legs spread slightly, calves tucked under you and feet beneath your ass. Neat and pretty. Just the way sir likes it.

Taehyung strips quickly once you’re in the water. Your eyes roam over his beautiful body, at the hard muscle of his chest, his bulging biceps, his caramel thighs, and his rigid cock. “Come here.” Taehyung orders as he gets in the water. You do so, climbing up into his lap. He kisses you hungrily, like this is the first time all night. You are surprised at the intensity of this kiss. You cannot recall a time Taehyung has ever kissed you so passionately in your years together, even in your roughest scenes.

“So pretty.” Taehyung growls when you two part again. He wraps one arm around your waist to press your chest against his, then attacks your neck. You gasp as he makes love bites, all the way down your neck. He has never made this many before in total, yet he makes them everywhere tonight. He litters your collarbone and the top of your chest with them, making them bloom red at first but you know they will be a deep purple shade tomorrow. “How can you not know what you mean to me, when you’re this fucking beautiful? You drove me crazy in your dress tonight, no, you drive me crazy every fucking time I see you. Maybe even since the first time I met you.”

“S-Sir.” You moan at the praise, face heating up. Taehyung pushes you back against the wall of the hot tub. You tilt your head back against the tiles as he touches you everywhere. He uses his hands to tease at your nipples, making them harden. Even as he does it, he is grinding down on you. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

“You fucking know I am.” Taehyung snaps, losing the careful composure he wears during scenes. “You’re my one and my only. Look at yourself, so fucking lewd, all worked up by my touch. You have me wrapped around your finger and you still think I’d have another woman.” He continues, cursing in between his sentences at your sweet sounds.

“S-Sorry.”

“Don’t ever be sorry.” Taehyung cuts you off. You let out moans as he starts rubbing at your clit, hard and fast. You grind against his hand. In his dom persona, Taehyung would never tolerate you doing this, but both of you are too far gone tonight to follow the rules to a T. “I will clear this misunderstanding tonight. On your knees, princess.”

You lean on top of the towel Taehyung placed for you on the tiles. Taehyung places his own knees outside of yours, and you feel his hard cock against your ass. Taehyung eases two fingers into you, wet from your arousal that it’s an easy fit. “Nnn, sir.” You plead, grinding down on him.

“You won’t get more until you say what I want to hear.” Taehyung says next to your ear. He presses his chest into your back, pinning you to the edge of the hot tub. “Who do you belong to?”

“Sir! I belong to sir!” You cry out, and Taehyung picks up the pace.

“So fucking pretty.” Taehyung praises, kissing the marks he left on your neck. “Only you get treated like this, understand? No woman could ever be loved like this by me. Every time you forget I will bend you over my lap and make you come on my cock over and over until you get it in your head.”

You let out a particularly loud moan at that, making Taehyung smirk. “Does my princess like that, hmm? You want to get bent over and take my cock all the time? Want me to fill you up with my come, plug you with a pretty little toy, and make you go about your day?” Taehyung inserts another finger and the stretch has you whining. “Answer me.” He demands.

“I do. Ah, fuck, Taehyung. Please. I do.” You plead, tilting your head to the side. Taehyung meets you immediately in a passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth, completely different from Taehyung’s usual style. Is this really what he can do when he lets go? You wonder, getting drunk on his kisses alone. You thought Taehyung had been rough before, but it’s nothing compared to tonight.

“Turn around.” Taehyung says, withdrawing his fingers.

He takes in your needy expression, leaning in to kiss you again like he can’t get enough of you. “Can I come in you, baby? Have you been taking your pill regularly?”

“Yes. Yes.” You chant. Taehyung laughs breathlessly, grabbing a fistful of your hip in one hand and lining himself up to your entrance.

When he enters, both of you moan. “So good. Whose are you, princess?”

“Yours, only yours.” You answer breathlessly. Taehyung grips your thighs and lifts you slightly, allowing him to enter you more deeply.

Taehyung abruptly picks up the pace of his thrusts. You grip at his shoulders for support, unable to stop the noises that fall from your lips constantly. Not only is Taehyung going fast, he is also going incredibly deep, rubbing right over your G-spot.

“C-Can I come, sir?” You beg.

Taehyung nods, and you move one hand between your legs to rub at your clit. As you tip your head back, Taehyung holds himself deep inside you. Both of you come at the same time, you clench hard around him and Taehyung pumps his seed inside you. He kisses at the marks on your neck as he comes, and you dig your nails into his back.

You move your hand to his hair once you finish, stroking it gently. Taehyung pulls back from the wall, his hand smoothing down your back to ease any discomfort you felt being pressed against it. You don’t even notice until the postcoital bliss dies down that your ass was now more sore than before. But Taehyung does.

“Let’s take a shower.” He tells you, helping you up. You both get out of the hot tub. Taehyung runs a small handcloth under the tap. He comes over and wipes your vagina down first, then cleaning himself.

The two of you get in the shower together. You let Taehyung wash your body down, scrubbing gently and avoiding touching your ass. You grab his shampoo off the ledge and put a good amount in your palms. “What are you doing?” Taehyung asks, surprised that you turned around while he was washing your back.

“Taking care of you.” You mumble, washing Taehyung hair for him. You grab the detachable showerhead from the side. You shield his eyes with a hand as you rinse the soap out.

Taehyung smiles fondly at how concentrated you look. “Baby, a dom is supposed to look after their sub following a scene. Not the other way.”

You shrug. You probably heard that somewhere. Your brain is too foggy right now to think. “But I want to.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes.” You answer, smiling at how nice Taehyung’s hair looks now that it’s clean. “Because I belong to you.”

Taehyung lightly pecks your forehead. “And I’m yours.”

Later, when the haze of your subspace wears off, you two are laying in bed together. You’re wearing one of Taehyung’s shirts and a pair of panties. Taehyung is shirtless and in a pair of boxers. Taehyung has just finished putting lotion on your sore bottom to ease the ache for tomorrow.

You lay on top of Taehyung’s chest, and Taehyung tucks the blankets tucked in around you. You snuggle up against his chest, content in his strong arms.

“Y/N, I know I already proved my point, but you really are my only one.” Taehyung tells you. You don’t reply so he cranes his head to look at you. Taehyung smiles fondly to notice you’re already asleep. He kisses the top of your head. “No problem. I guess I have the rest of my life to prove it to you.” He mutters to himself.

You smile to yourself with your eyes closed.

Requests are open (✿◡‿◡)

#bts smut #bts fanfic #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #kim taehyung smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff

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whileyoureinschoolidothisallday · 2 years ago

Text

Okay friends.

Normally I would reblog from my writeblr, but this is important to me and you’re important to me. I wanna show this to y’all specifically.

So, I’m gonna post the whole chapter over here as well.

I’d love to hear what you think! And also, with this chapter specifically,

I hope it hits you like it does me.

(if you prefer to read it on ao3, you can do so here)

My eyes flutter open lazily. For a moment, I don't remember falling asleep.

The lights are still on. I'm laying on top of the covers with my still-throbbing head snuggled softly against the pillow. Damp clothes cling to my skin, sending an irritating chill up my back. As I lay here, I'm calm. Cozy from the oblivious numbness of a good nap. Everything looks sharper and feels softer. I don't know the last time I slept like that.

The ignorant bliss only lasts a few more seconds, and then the day's events come rushing back. I suck in a breath and jolt upright. How could I fall asleep at a time like this? How long was I out? Damali--!

I stopped.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't need to rush anywhere anymore. It was over. No matter how long I was asleep, it was long enough for 'Drea to get the message. It didn't feel like she was here yet, but she'd be on the way.

The longer reality settles in, the heavier silence hangs in the room. This should feel more like a relief, I think. Instead, it just is. Flat. Maybe it'll be different when 'Drea starts the process. Damali always looked like she was having so much fun. I can do that too. My favorite face, hair, body, voice, all the styles I've thought about hundreds of times. I stop once I realize I won't get to stop pretending when it's time for my new name. I'll finally have to choose. The usual ominous weight creeps down my stomach, paired with a shudder that makes the hairs on my arms and neck stand up.

No.

I quickly get out of the bed and swing open the doors to my closet. Enough is enough. It's over. I'm so fucking sick of wavering all the time. The decision is made. Notebook. Markers. Pen. I slam myself back down on the bed, pen in a death grip, and commit.

My last name and backstory were already decided, so I just needed something to pair well with it. Delilah Renan's niece...Aubrey Renan. Spencer Renan. Casey Renan. Each one gets its own color palette. 'Drea will make anyone look however they want, but it's up to us to come up with a personality. Aubrey sounds the most like the original plan--a troubled niece. She gets red, denim jacket blue, black like ripped leggings and leather jackets, and mustard gold. Spencer reminds me of Kendra, strong and silent, dark blue and chrome. Casey was twirly skirts and curls, muted pinks, purples, and greys.

The second I have ten options, I toss the list aside and attack my closet, ripping out every relevant piece of clothing I can find and throwing it in a frenzied pile behind me. By the time I'm done, I can barely see the floor or my bed. I hastily strip off my wet clothes and start playing dress up.

The twist in my stomach continues to tighten, a constant, nagging pull in the background of my frantic fashion show. With every coil, my movements grow more desperate. I shrug it off. The anxiety isn't real. It never is. All I need is to see how well it will work. Once it's in front of me, I'll believe it and it won't be so bad. Didn't I spend all my life wishing I was someone else, anywhere else? Why should it feel wrong now?

I wear outfit after outfit. All of them are wrong. For some reason or another, they're not convincing enough. Everything I choose for Audrey reminds me too much of Sapphire. I don't have enough bright clothes to pass as Casey. Spencer feels the most believable, but I always catch a twinge of something not good enough. Something missing. I rush to keep the black hole in my stomach at bay.

It's the makeup. I wouldn't wear the same style if I were Spencer. A subtle line of eyeliner. Mascara. Maybe some rosy-nude lipstick and a little bit of blush. A black baseball cap to complete the look. It looks good. Like this is a girl that could exist. I could play the part and believe it.

I hold my hand out in front of the mirror and smile. "Hi. My name is Spencer Renan."

I try it in different tones. Different wording. Different smiles and sometimes no smile at all. None of it ever feels right.

Fuck! I start to yank off the clothes in frustration. Just fucking pick one already!

Why can't I do this? This isn't hard. Even if it was, it's better than the alternative. I'm not going back. I can't go back. I can't do this anymore.

The denim jacket snags on something as I tear it off. Its chain makes a quiet clink from the jostling. My rampage finally freezes in place. Sabin's ID tags. Slowly, thoughtfully, I untangle them from the fabric.

I forgot I had them on.

They've been around my neck for a year. I sleep with them. They constantly hang with the weight of his life and all the potential life he could've had if it weren't stolen from him. It's all he ever had that he could claim as truly his. All that's left of him. And I forgot about it.

It's something I haven't thought about before. In all my daydreams of escaping and running away, with a face I thought would be better, easier, it never crossed my mind that Sabin couldn't come with. Keeping these would be a liability. They're a dead giveaway. Why would a Norm like Spencer Renan have the ID tags of a once-deadly experiment? Panacea is everywhere. They caught a glimpse of this and my fancy new identity'd be blown.

I look back in the mirror. I'm not completely undressed yet. I still have the hat, the jeans, the undershirt. It's enough to see that the tags have been what's missing all along. They clash against the Norm costume like a splash of neon paint, jingling incessantly. The truth is loud. Too loud, even if I kept it locked in a box somewhere. If I want this to work, I have to get rid of them.

If I want normality, I have to bury Sabin.

I sit down. Without any distractions for so long, the black hole in my stomach grows until I feel its pressure dragging down my ribs. My hand reaches up to clutch the tags again. I try to move toward the clasp on my neck, but my arm refuses to move any higher.

"This is the only thing I've managed to keep away from them. Will you keep it safe for me?"

His voice rings like the jingling of the tags. Why can't I do this? He'd want me to do this. All he ever wanted was a chance at a normal life, and if he couldn't have it then I had to. He'd want me to forget about him. Sometimes I thought he wanted death more than he wanted me, and I couldn't blame him. I could let him finally rest and drop his only remains in the ocean he loved so much, or in one of his boxes, or wrapped around Dimitri for him to guard instead of me.

Of course that's what he meant. Why did I ever think he wanted me to fight for him? Sabin decided a long time ago that the only place he'd ever be safe was six feet under.

And now I'm the one that has to kill us both.

It isn't fair. Why would he make me do this? Why would he think I could? Did he really think he meant so little to me that I could drop the thought of him for my own survival?

This is all that's left of him. Once it's gone, there will be no evidence that a Sabin Khilcov existed, and the only person who would give a fuck wouldn't be able to remind anyone. He didn't deserve to be forgotten. None of us do. If I die, he dies. Another fucking Chaos Power latched to my life.

"I don't wanna do this!" I cry out and lean forward, resting my head against the mirror in front of me.

But what else can I do?

I can't go back out there. I know I'm not strong enough. Whether I like it or not, this is all that's left. I lost this fight a long time ago. The black hole dissipates with the honesty, and suddenly everything clears.

I never needed commitment.

I needed to mourn.

I never had time before. Now, for once, I'm stuck in an in-between space where the time between the present and when 'Drea shows up could stretch on forever. It's death row, waiting for the executioner. How do I wanna spend my last moments as me? Not crying, that's for sure. I'm so sick of crying.

I slowly sit up and glance around. Everything happened so fast last time. I didn't get to say goodbye to anything. When I was still at home, I used to think there was nothing I would miss when I finally packed up and left, but that isn't true. My room was once the only place I had that was completely mine, without anyone else's influence. I made this place myself: the color of the walls, the designs, the way the furniture was arranged.

I'll miss my bed. I'll miss sleeping under the watchful presence of the diamond on the wall--it always made me feel safe. I'll never be able to draw it again. Or anything I used to. I'll have to leave all my photos too. If I wanted to paint at all, I'd have to completely change my style. It'd be better if I didn't. My heart lurches at the thought.

I turn to look at myself again. The hat hangs low enough that it drapes my eyes in shadow. They're puffy from crying so much and my thick eyeliner is all but non-existent, save for the smears. I look fucking pitiful. There's an emptiness in my eyes and a sickly grey tint to my skin that makes me look like I'm already a walking ghost. Too numb and too dead.

I wipe underneath my eyes. This is what longing after normality looks like. You waste all your time and energy wishing that you were just a little bit more like them that you don't realize how much of yourself you're killing in the process. I'll still be like this if I leave. No matter how different 'Drea makes me, the grey tint will remain. My eyes will stay empty.

I don't want this to be the last image I have of myself. Tear-stained, helpless. Even corpses get to look their best on their final day, don't they? If I'm not allowed anything else, I at least want that right.

What’s my best? What's the last image Ariana Salem wants the world to remember her as?

One last time. The hat's the first to go. My hair falls down in messy waves, still blocking my eyes. I find a ponytail band and pull it back. My movements have purpose. They're liquid. Effortless. There's nothing I have to second guess. I've done this routine so many times that at least in this, I know I can trust myself.

The clothes come off next. It feels like taking off a bra that's too tight. My eyes scan the piles of clothes and stop at dark long sleeves, peeking through beneath jeans and T-shirts. It's a dark turtleneck. Snug enough that it won't catch on anything, but loose enough that I can move freely. The pants match, only with a few extra pockets than normal. I step into some boots. Black, sturdy, a little worn from reliable use.

With the stereotype eyeliner scrubbed off, I take the pen and reapply. This time, a clean line. Smooth and even along my lid. Then, a sharp edge at the end. Rising up and up, way farther than it should be, almost into my hairline, until it looks like knives instead of wings.

My mom's face was always flawless before a big case. She'd walk out of the bathroom somehow looking airbrushed. Not a hair out of place. Suit pressed, heels shining. She made sure when she walked into a room, everyone knew she came to win. Watching her was like watching art being made. A whole new life created from colors, shading, brush strokes. War paint, my dad would joke, to which my mom would lovingly roll her eyes at his terrible humor.

It stuck with me. Just like the image of 'Drea, stalking the streets as Gemstone. Her mouth, adorned with fangs and lipstick and upturned in a wicked smile, the last thing her victims ever saw. It sends some kind of spark cutting through me. Anger, envy, admiration. I can't tell.

It radiates a dull warmth in my veins. I close my eyes and focus on it. Take a few long breaths. There's only one thing left to do.

One last time.

With every breath, I imagine more and more sparks firing off, from the center of my chest outward. The sparks stretch further underneath my skin. Even as it starts to sting, my breathing never strays from its steady beat. Familiar growls rumble awake inside me, shivering up my spine. Their gnashing teeth grind in the pads of my fingertips. The vileness of Kendra's energy slithers and pools into my hands and fills my mouth like dripping, bitter poison. It's everywhere.

Once again, I'm standing at the door waiting to be let in. I let the energy coil and snap for a while. Immerse myself, like all the other times before. The venom curls down my arms like dancing ribbons and juts out like daggers. As strange as it might sound, it brings a smile to my face. The pulsing warmth of home. An armor of thorns fashioned from unbreakable black diamonds. Anything that grazes its edges decays and burns to ash.

There's no recoil this time. The growls and gnashing teeth melt into a contented thrum. It doesn't bite back.

There's nothing left but the reveal.

I slowly open my eyes, and quickly lean back. The sudden stark difference catches me off guard at first. But the surprise only lasts for a moment before I return to staring.

The smirk is still there, slightly brightening my dull skin. My blank, rust brown eyes are swapped with the deep and dangerous red. I never noticed before, but besides being more intimidating, the eyes brighten and bring color back to my face. You can only see the tired circles if you're hunting for them. It's too hard to look away from the red, like a rattlesnake tail. The color holds you hostage until it's too late to look away. My whole body shifts with this much power in my veins. I stand up straighter. Lift my chin up.

The difference is striking, seeing something on a screen versus right in front of you. It's not like I haven't been chased by this image the whole time. She follows me everywhere. Everyone else can't get enough of her and I could never figure out why. Is it possible to be jealous of yourself? I avoided her for so long because I didn't think I remembered how to live up to her standards. She reminded me of everything I wasn't.

But I've tried on so many faces in these last few minutes and none of them, not even the one I started with, felt more like home.

I was so convinced that I didn't know who this was anymore, but the opposite is true. I fooled myself into believing that this isn’t who I am in the first place. It was so easy to fall for the pretend.

The longer I bond with the mirror, the more a fog lifts. Things connect, like finding new shapes in an Abstract painting.

I get why Sabin would want me to leave, and why he stopped trying to stand up to Panacea in the first place. Eventually, you just wanna live, even if that means following their rules. Believing that I was incapable meant that I wasn't responsible for anything. I had an excuse. My fear and inaction were justified because see? I'd just fuck it up anyway. I cloaked myself in an armor of apathy so thick that nothing could get through. Not pain, risk, loss, freedom, friends, power, love, or even myself, claiming self-destruction in the name of safety.

How familiar.

Somewhere down the line, Panacea got in my head and convinced me to do their job for them.

How could I let them take this away from me?

I'm not sure of anything anymore. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, or if I'm making the right choices, and I sure as fuck don't know how to take care of anyone. But after this, I know I'm sure about one thing:

I can't go the rest of my life without feeling like this ever again.

Like this, no one can touch anything I love with their blood-stained hands and dodge justice. I am the monster under their bed, the heartless beast they write stories about. This is the face Norms fear. My face. The face of power, in a girl who's sick of the expectation to accept second-class citizenry like some gracious gift.

They plaster my likeness on every corner, news outlet, website and radio station, pretending it's a warning for the people. But really, it's to signal the other rats like them that I'm coming. And I take no prisoners. Even after months of me hiding here, dripping in tears and defeat, they kept locking their doors and looking over their shoulders for me. Even though I'm only one person. Even though I'm just a kid.

The smirk shows on my face so effortlessly because this is what freedom feels like. Finally realizing that Panacea can't do shit to stop me. No one else owns my face but me. They can bring me back to this exact spot thousands of times, but this power inside of me, this beast with dripping fangs and gnashing teeth is hungry for blood, and it's not gonna let me stop until those who have wronged us know exactly who the fuck they're dealing with. Why should I be the one afraid of them?

They should be afraid of me.

Kendra's energy flares at the ready in my hands. The blank space of indecision lifts, and my empowerment is swapped for the hovering reality.

I already signed my death sentence.

'Drea was on the way.

How much time did I waste already? What's been happening to Sabin while I've been stuck existing in nightmares? What's happening to Damali every second I stall here? I cuss under my breath and rush out the door.

"Kendra--!"

I stop short. She's leisurely sitting on the floor outside my room. Cell phone in lap. She looks up at me matter-of-factly while my mind reels.

"That took you considerably longer than I anticipated," she says, starting to stand up. "You were farther along than we thought."

I stare in bewilderment for a few more seconds before my brain finally catches up. "You were out here the whole time? What about 'Drea?"

"Never called her,” she says. “I gave ShadowGrl the sample instead. She should be almost done."

She tosses the cell phone back to me and moves toward the stairs. When I don't follow, she turns. "Are you not finished yet?"

Her tone jolts me out of my confusion and back to my usual scowl, albeit softened a bit for honesty’s sake. "How did you know I wouldn't bail?"

"You don't want to quit, human girl. You want sleep and a vacation.” She briefly pauses to shrug. “I gave you what we had available.”

Then, a small, rare smile softens her face. "Also…I like to believe I know who I chose."

There's absolutely no doubt: It's the nicest thing Kendra's ever said to me. My scowl melts into an eager smile. She turns around before I can get too sentimental.

"Now, let's get a move on. I believe you have another human to save?"

I follow her down the steps without another word. Her energy crackles eagerly in my hands, but it flows smoothly. There's not enough doubt lingering to clog the connection anymore. The static evaporates to nothing. Finally, I've remembered who I am and what I'm capable of.

I think it's time I remind Panacea.

#cynical chaos #also fun fact #all the chapter titles in Cynical Chaos are song titles #if you're gonna look up any of the songs #I'd recommend this one #it fits with the scene very well #sometimes I do this thing with words

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laventae · 4 years ago

Text

Haikyuu boys - Pretending to be your boyfriend

Miya Atsumu

Summary: Oneshot stories of random situations where the boys pretend to be your boyfriends, but y’all also kinda like each other?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x F!reader

Genre: Fluff?, a bit of angst?, College/Uni au

Word count: 6.6k words

Warnings: Mild cursing

Buzz

The bees buzz around the flowers next to the bench you were sitting on, as you wait for him to show up.

It's been years since you last saw him, and you made up your mind that when you see him this time, you'll be honest with your feelings for him.

Buzz

You look around the park.

This was it, the place where you first accidentally bumped against each other. And ever since that time, you couldn't stop thinking about him. You knew it then, and you still know it now.

He's definitely the one.

"Y/n?" You hear someone call out behind you.

You jump out of your seat as you turn around and see him running towards you.

Buzz Buzz

You can feel all of your senses heighten, clearly hearing the bees buzz as loud as ever, the flowers smell as sweet as ever, the wind blowing a beautiful melody.

You get up and meet him halfway.

"Y/n, I-, ever since I met you, you changed my whole life. There’s-, there's nobody else for me but you, and I-”

"I love you" you finish his sentence, before you close your eyes as he pulls you in for a kiss.

BUZZ BUZZ

You hear the bees buzz even louder. The loudest this time.

'What the fuck?'

You open your eyes to find yourself back in your dark room, lying in bed. Your phone vibrating on your bedside table.

"Are you kidding me?" You groan as you drop your head back on your pillow.

BUZZ BUZZ

"Who the fuck is even calling me right now? Its 12am!" You exclaim loudly.

You grab your phone and check the caller ID.

CALLING: IDIOTSUMU

You groan and answer his call.

"You better be dying, Tsumu" you hiss at him as you close your eyes again.

You hear him chuckle on the other side of the line, "Open the door for me, I'm outside your apartment, and it’s freezing" he whisper yells.

You try to register what he just told you.

"Right now? It's 12am on a weekend, I'm tryna sleep in peace" you tell him as you yawn, getting more comfortable in bed.

"GET UP Y/N!" you hear him yell and that jolts you out of your sleepy state.

"Okay fine, fine, stop yelling! And don't let the neighbors hear or they’ll kick me out because of you" you answer him annoyed, as you get out of bed and head for your door.

You hear him giggle, knowing he won.

"And stop giggling like a little school girl" you continue which only gets him to giggle even more.

You close the phone as you open the door to your apartment and you find him standing there, drenched in rain.

You sigh.

"What now?" you ask him, unamused.

He gives you the most innocent smile he could muster, "can I crash here again tonight?"

"Would you even accept no for an answer?"

"Of course not, thanks y/n!" He says as he jumps in for a hug.

"Get off me, you're wet!" You exclaim but it's too late, the damage is done, so you just give in and hug him back as you close the door.

"Oops," he says as he lets go, both of you knowing full well he did it on purpose, "I'll have to borrow some clothes that I left here last time" he continues, as he makes himself home, going through your fridge to see if you have any leftovers.

"There’s some food leftover from lunch I made today," you sigh as you sit on a stool in your small kitchen. He shoots you a thankful look and a wink, "so what excuse are you gonna give me for crashing at my place again this time, huh? You think I run a hostel here? You know, I was literally having the best dream in the world before you woke me up. We literally almost kissed this time and-"

"Was it with that stupid high school crush of yours, again?" He asks as he takes a seat on the stool next to yours and starts munching on the leftovers.

"He’s not stupid, okay?" You glare at him and he gives you an innocent smile. "He was so dreamy," you sigh lovingly as you think back on your dream again.

'If I go back to sleep right now, I'd probably-'

"No, you wouldn't be able to finish your dream if you go back to sleep right now" Atsumu casually says as if he heard your thoughts.

You glare at him again, "Besides... Will you just forget about him? I'm literally right here, why would you need any other man?" he continues as he wiggles his eyebrows at you with a smirk on his face.

You scoff at him in disbelief, "Oh, as if" you say as you get up from your seat and head to your room.

"You need some company in bed tonight, sweetheart?" You hear him teasingly shout from where he was sitting before you slam the door of your room loudly as a reply.

You hear him chuckle and you can’t help but laugh as well.

An hour passes while you toss and turn in bed; somehow you just can't fall back asleep anymore, you were wide awake.

You sigh and give up, opting to just stare at the ceiling and try to think about your plans for the next day.

You then hear Atsumu quietly knock on your bedroom door. For some reason, you just didn't have the mental willpower to deal with him, so you close your eyes and pretend to be asleep.

He knocks quietly, once again, before he opens the door and whispers your name.

"Y/n, you still up?" He asks. It’s quiet enough not to wake you up if you were actually asleep, but loud enough to be heard.

When he doesn't get a reply, he walks in quietly. You hear some rustling in your closet, probably looking for some of his clothes he left over at your place.

After a couple of minutes, you feel your bed dip, as Atsumu takes a seat on the side of your bed.

'What is he up to? Is he going to scare me awake as a prank or something??' You think before you feel him place his index finger on your forehead, then starts softly tracing your face as he goes down to the bridge of your nose then down to your lips.

His finger lingers for a bit before he moves a strand of hair off your face.

He quietly sighs, sounding defeated.

"Thank you," you hear him quietly whisper, before he slowly gets off the bed, reach for the door and gently closes it.

Your eyes snap open as soon as you hear him leave your room and you feel your face flush a bit.

'What's he being so fucking weird for?' you think before turning in your bed and falling fast asleep.

-~-~-

You hear you alarm ringing and you groan as you reach for your phone.

Dismiss

You stretch in bed for a minute before you decide that it's time to get up.

You let out a yawn as you reach for your bedroom door and open it.

'Breakfast... what do I make for breakfast' you think as you make your way to the bathroom, before you get startled when you notice Atsumu sleeping on your couch.

"Oh my god, I forgot he was here" you whisper to yourself as you mentally facepalm.

You look back at him and notice the blanket he was using to cover himself, was on the floor.

'How can you sleep like that, it’s freezing' you silently judge him as you sigh and walk over to where he is sleeping.

You bend down to reach the blanket and slowly try to place it over him.

You bend down again next to the couch and smooth over the blanket over his chest.

'Looks much better now,' you think as you sigh, 'this boy is too much work...'

You lean in closer

'He looks like he’s having a good dream', you smile, 'and you know what, he actually doesn't look half-bad when his mouth is shu-’

"I look handsome even when I'm asleep, don't I," he says as he snaps you out of your thoughts. He opens his eyes and turn to you, a smirk playing on his lips.

You feel your face flush slightly.

'Did he just catch me staring at him?? I won't fucking hear the end of this...'

"AS IF!" you exclaim as you get up quickly, and start to walk away.

But you feel him grab your wrist and pull you back down before you get the chance to leave.

You fall on him, your faces inches apart.

You both look equally as startled by the closeness of your faces and you notice his eyes fall to your lips for a moment.

"What?" You ask him, trying to sound annoyed, while trying your best to keep your composure.

'This is so ridiculous. It’s Tsumu, my childhood best friend, why am I getting flustered right now?'

He quickly looks back up to your eyes again, seeming like he finally snapped out of his thoughts as well, "your breath stinks, sweetheart" he finally says, his smirk back on his face.

'Ah... what was I even getting flustered for...?'

"Oh, fuck you," you say pushing him and he lets go of your wrist, "I was on my way to the bathroom you know" you continue, annoyed, as you get up and head to your original destination, and you hear him chuckle behind you.

"Just get up and stop being a lazy ass!" You yell at him one final time before you get in the bathroom and shut the door. You faintly hear him chuckle again.

You slam your head on the bathroom door.

"Ouch..."

'Ugh, he's always teasing you like that, why do you still fall for it??'

You sigh and reach for the sink.

You freshen up for a couple of minutes before you decide to finally leave the bathroom.

You hear some rustling coming from the kitchen and you make your way there.

He whistles as he eyes you up and down, “Damn, I can never get sick of seeing you wearing my shirts,” he says and winks at you.

You look down and notice you were wearing one of the shirts he left over at your place.

“Shut up, it’s not my fault they’re comfortable” you shrug it off.

“Aha, sureee~” he teases you and wiggles his eyebrows.

“I’m going to change” you say with a straight face as you turn back to head to your room

“Heyy,” he laughs as he grabs your hand, pulling you back into the kitchen, “take a joke, will you?” he shakes his head and you just pout.

“Come on, have breakfast with me” he says as he pushes you to sit on one of the stools.

“What’re we feeling today? Scrambled eggs? Cereal? Grilled cheese?”

“Hmm...” you take your time to think, “cereal”

“Coming right up!”

-~-~-

A couple of hours pass after you’ve both finished your breakfast and settled on the couch in the living room.

Saturdays were usually your rest days; days when you enjoyed just lounging around the house and watching movies all day.

And, after enduring the hours of harassment you got from Atsumu during breakfast, you gave in and let him join you for the day.

You scroll through Netflix, looking for a movie to put on so you guys could watch together. Atsumu was sitting right beside you on the couch, scrolling through his phone and occasionally looking over at your laptop to let you know whether he was interested in a movie you pointed out or not.

“So, you never actually answered me yesterday when I asked you what exactly happened,” you break the silence as you continue scrolling.

“Hmm?” he asks, sounding distracted.

You look at him, “Why did you crash here yesterday?”

He looks up from his phone, and you see realization set in when he finally processes your question.

He looks back at his phone, “Sora and I had another fight yesterday,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Oh...” you say and look back at your laptop, “What happened this time?”

“I don’t know, she was going on about some stupid shit again, and then she broke up with me”

“This is like the 50th time you break up since you first started dating last year, isn't it?” you tease him.

“Shut up,” you hear him say as he lightly smacks the back of your head and chuckles.

“What?” you laugh as you look back at him, “It’s true”

You hear him mumble a faint “whatever” as he looks back at his phone.

“Why did you come here then?” you ask

“We had the fight at my place, it was too awkward to stay”

“Right...”

A few moments pass before you speak up again.

“I'm actually curious, you know,” you lean back on the couch facing him, “why do you guys even bother getting back together if you're just going to fight again and break up?”

He looks up at you and you feel him stare into your eyes seriously for a minute, before a smug smirk plays at his lips, “What? Want me all for yourself, sweetheart?”

“Ugh, I'm serious!” you say as you lightly smack his chest and he pretends to fake wince.

“Hmm...” he says, looking down, a serious look on his face again.

You feel him contemplating and thinking hard about something and you start to feel worried.

You always found it hard to see Atsumu take something seriously. You knew he obviously took certain things seriously, like school and work. But when he’s with you, he’s always shown you his fun side. He would almost always end up being the one to cheer you up when you're down, or try his best to make you smile or laugh when he notices you were sad about something; always teasing you whenever he had the chance to; always keeping everything lively.

Though you appreciated that about him, you always wanted to do the same for him as well. Try to cheer him up when he’s down or just be there to listen to his problems. But somehow, you felt like he would purposely try to hide that part of himself away from you. And it only worsened when he started dating Sora last year.

You didn’t know why. You brought it up to him a couple of times before but he would always shrug it off, telling you it’s nothing.

So, in the very, very rare occasions you see that side of him, you can’t help but worry. Because you think that it’s serious enough for him to not even be able to hide it from you.

“Hey,” you softly whisper as you try smooth out the crinkles on his forehead.

‘Don’t overthink things on your own...’

He turns to you looking startled for a moment, then looks away.

You sigh and move your hand back down.

“Want me to take you to your favorite ice-cream truck tonight?” you ask him softly.

A moment passes but you don’t get a reply.

“On me...?” you add, knowing full well he wouldn’t have refused the offer anyways, he was just being stubborn.

You notice him slightly hesitate before he nods his head.

You giggle, “You’re a big baby, huh?”

“Just play a stupid movie” you hear him mumble as he pouts and you can't help but giggle again.

‘I guess this is better than nothing...’

-~-~-

You get to your favorite ice-cream truck spot and order your favorite ice-cream cone flavor. You figure you might as well enjoy it as you wait for Atsumu to get there.

Half-way through the movie you started earlier that day, Atsumu got an urgent call from his part-time job asking him to fill in for a sick colleague. So instead of going to the ice-cream truck together, you decided to meet there after his shift ended.

It was almost the beginning of winter, and it was starting to get cold, so it was definitely not the best time to grab ice-cream. But somehow, you always noticed it would bring Atsumu comfort when he was feeling down, and was too stubborn to share his discomforts with you. So, it became a bit of routine you guys would have. Whenever he would feel down, you’d buy him an ice-cream cone from this very truck, and for some reason, it would help him open up little by little.

You check your phone.

8:25 P.M

‘Five more minutes until his shift ends’ you think to yourself as you take another bite of your ice-cream.

You decide to just scroll through your social media feed as you wait for Atsumu. His part-time job wasn’t too far from where the truck was located, so it wouldn’t be much long until he gets there.

8:29 P.M

“Well, well, well,” you suddenly hear someone say as they get closer.

You look up from your phone.

“Don’t you just look sad, sitting there all alone” the girl continues with a mean smile on her face, and the girl next to her just giggles.

“Oh,” you say, unamused, when you finally recognize who they were, “It’s ditz number 1 and ditz number 2”

“Not funny,” the girl replies quickly with the same mean smile still plastered on her face, “listen, Sora told us what happened, and we know it won’t be much long until they get back together, so just back off” the first girl continues and the second just nods.

“Huh?” you laugh, “she’s the one who broke up with him, besides, what does that even have to do with me?”

The first girl scoffs, “because it’s always your fault”

She shoots you a glare and before you could even reply you hear someone call you as they rush over to your side.

“Sweetheart, sorry I was late, I ran here as fast as I could!” Atsumu tells you, catching his breath, before he realizes who you were standing with.

“Wow... sweethearts already, huh?” the first girl says, sounding fake excited as she looks at the second girl, “Sora’s gonna love this” she continues and they both giggle annoyingly.

You suddenly feel Atsumu’s arm around your shoulder, and you look at it confused.

“Yeah, we're dating,” you hear him say.

All of your heads snap to him, you looking the most confused, “so just tell Sora to stop contacting me” he says sternly.

‘How bad was the fight between them?’ you find yourself question as you see that serious look on his face the second time that day.

Both the girls scoff at his statement.

“Oh, really?” the first girl asks, that same mean smile back on her face again.

“Yeah really,” you chime in this time, giving her the same mean smile she’s been giving you the whole time.

At this point you’ve really just had it with their attitudes, and if that’s how Atsumu wanted to deal with the situation, you decided to just roll with it.

“So, both you and Sora should just fuck off,” you continue and look at Atsumu who had a bemused look on his face, “Now come on, babe, let's go back home” you smile at him.

It takes him a moment before his expression changes, a soft smile replacing his bemused look.

“Let’s,” he says as he pulls you even closer.

You intertwine the fingers of your free hand with his that was around your shoulder, “Bye now” you wave to the two girls, leaving them with a shocked expression on their face, as you and Atsumu start walking away.

You both feel yourself holding back your laughter, and wait until you're out of the line of sight of the two girls.

As soon as you round the corner, however, you both start laughing hysterically.

“Did you see their faces?” you both ask each other at the same time, before laughing even harder.

A couple of minutes pass as you both try to calm yourselves down, then both instinctively go back to the position you left the startled girls in. His arm around your shoulder and your hands intertwined with each other.

You start walking.

It takes you a minute before you realize, “Hey, they can’t see us anymore” you tell him, though you didn’t necessarily want to let go.

“But it’s comfortable,” he says and you look up at him and notice a soft smile on his face.

‘Damn... even he can make a face like that, huh?’ you feel your face flush slightly.

‘Wait, no’

He feels you looking up at him and looks at you, “What?”

“You’re ugly, you know that, right?” you answer as you look away, not wanting to admit your thoughts.

He starts chuckling, “You were thinking I look really handsome right now, weren’t you?”

“As if...” you pout and he chuckles again.

You feel him gently knock his head against yours, “Thank you,” he whispers quietly, “for having my back, back there”

You smile.

‘Stop being cute...’

‘No wait, I didn’t just think that’

“You would’ve done the same for me, wouldn’t you?”

“Right...” you hear him whisper as his grip on your hand tightens.

‘Why is my heart beating fast right now? This isn’t the first time we’ve been this close...’

“Oh, by the way,” you look up at him apologetically as soon as you notice.

“What’s wrong?” he asks worriedly, when he notices the look on your face.

You point at the almost melted ice-cream cone you're holding with your other hand. Thankfully it was cold enough outside for it to not have fully melted, however.

“We didn’t get your ice-cream" you look back at him, pouting.

He just chuckles, “You scared me, you idiot” he says as he grabs the hand with your ice-cream and takes a bite.

“Hey, that’s mine!” you exclaim but don’t stop him.

“You at least owe me this”

“Whatever” you mumble, and he chuckles, letting go of your hand.

“Enjoy it for me then”

-~-~-

You both continue walking, silently enjoying each other’s company, letting him have a bit of your ice-cream every now and then, before it was completely consumed by the both of you.

You then notice you were next to his apartment building.

“Hey, what're we doing here?” you ask him.

“Oh, I wanted to grab a few things from my place, I was thinking of crashing at yours again tonight,” he says and looks at you, “would that be okay?”

“Why do you even ask when you already made up your mind?”

He chuckles, “Is that a yes?”

‘How could I even say no?’

You curse that thought,

‘What’s wrong with me today?’

You sigh, “I guess it’s fine”, you say pretending to be annoyed.

He chuckles again.

A few minutes later, you get to the front of his apartment door.

You watch as he struggles to put the keys in the door.

“You know you could just let go of my hand, that way you could actually get the keys in,” you laugh, trying to let go of his hand.

He just holds it tighter, “No, it’s fine, I can do it” he says and you just shake your head at him.

However, a few moments pass and you both start chuckling at his constant failed attempts to get the keys in the lock.

“I’m telling you then,” you try to say between laughs, “just let g-”

“Wow,” a voice behind you interrupts you from finishing your sentence, however.

You both turn around and find Sora standing with her arms crossed, “They told me I had to see it to believe it, but here it is” she says as she points at the both you.

You feel Atsumu stiffen next to you and you both start to let go.

You look up at Atsumu and see him just staring at Sora blankly.

‘What’s wrong with you? Say something’

You take the initiative instead to voice what you were both probably thinking, “What’re you doing here, Sora?”

She just ignores you, however, and directs her words to Atsumu, “You finally did it, huh? I guess I should say congratulations”

You look back at Atsumu, confused, but he still keeps quiet.

“I kept wondering why all those months of us being together kept feeling so lonely; you’d just keep checking your phone constantly, as if waiting for someone else’s texts, or calls. If I wasn’t officially called your girlfriend, I'd think I was the side bitch instead” Sora continues.

“What’s going on?” you whisper to Atsumu but he still stays quiet, his head hanging down.

“And you know what, I knew it, all along. I kept bringing it up to you, and asking you about it but you would just shrug it off, and tell me I'm just being overdramatic. You were literally stringing me along so you can have someone give you the love and attention you actually craved from someone else” Sora continues, still ignoring you.

“So, I was right all along, wasn’t I?” she asks, scarily calm.

Silence.

“I WAS, WASNT I?” She yells at Atsumu.

You feel the need to step in again, “Sora, I think you should calm-”

“I’m sorry...” you suddenly hear Atsumu quietly say, still looking down.

‘I can't watch this...’ you think as you look away, feeling hurt, for Atsumu.

You weren’t very sure what was going on, but seeing Atsumu look so weak made your heart ache.

Sora starts laughing.

Atsumu finally looks up at Sora, “I’m sorry” he says louder this time.

“Fuck you,” Sora replies to him and she finally turns her attention to you, “both of you deserve each other” she says as she turns around on her heel and starts walking away.

You both watch her as she disappears around the corner.

You hesitantly turn your attention back to Atsumu.

“Hey,” you softly whisper but he wouldn’t even look at you.

You slowly grab his keys instead and open the door to his apartment.

“Let’s go in first,” you say as you gently grab his arm, leading him inside his apartment and closing the door.

You stand there silently for a few minutes before you hesitantly try to speak, “Tsumu, wha-”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupts you, “I’m sorry you had to be there for that”

“Hey, it’s fine, why’re you even apologizing? I mean it was Sora who crossed the line, who does she think she is to just-”

“It’s not her fault” he says, interrupting you again, sounding a bit angry.

“What’re you even talking about? She was the one who-”

“I told you it’s not her fault!” he suddenly yells, the first time you ever see him act this way, “It’s mine, and she was right...” he sighs, frustrated, as he turns his back away from you.

“Tsumu, what happened?” you ask him, pulling his arm to try and make him face you.

He shrugs your hand off, “You wouldn’t understand,” he says, sounding agitated.

But that makes YOU angry instead.

‘It’s always like this...’

He’s always like this, when he shuts down and pushes you out before even trying to explain the situation to you.

“THEN MAKE ME UNDERSTAND, GODDAMMIT!” this time, it's you who yells.

You grab his arm once again and turn him to face you.

“You really want to understand?” He asks getting increasingly frustrated for some reason.

You were slightly scared of seeing this side of him for the first time, but you knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.

You lock your eyes on his gaze, as if to challenge him.

‘I’m not going to lose this time...’

When he notices your eyes not wavering, he takes a step towards you, then another.

You still have your eyes locked on his but you can’t help but take a few steps back until you bump into the wall behind you.

He doesn’t stop, and slams his fists against either side of the wall.

You feel you heart start to race.

‘What is he thinking?’ you wonder, but you still don’t waver from his gaze.

He takes another step and closes the little space left between the two of you.

You feel your heart racing even faster.

‘Why...?’

He starts leaning in closer, eyes still locked on yours and you unintentionally hold your breath.

‘Is... Is he going to kiss me?’

He closes his eyes as he inches even closer, until there are only a few millimeters left between your lips, but then he just sighs, sounding defeated, and drops his head down, his arms relaxing around you.

You suddenly let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding, and feel light-headed when you notice how fast your heart was beating at that point.

‘Wha-’

“I'm so fucking in love with you,” You hear Atsumu quietly whisper, loud enough for you to hear.

It takes you a few moments for you to even register what he said.

You think he might’ve said it as a joke, so you wait, but he doesn’t laugh or show you any sign of it as being a joke.

He looks back up at you and notices the confused look on your face.

You notice his hands roll into fists before he lowers them down, releasing you from his grip.

You momentarily see a hurt look in his eyes before he looks back down defeated.

“I expected that much,” he quietly says.

‘Wait... I...’

“Tsumu-”

“It’s getting late, you should leave,” he says as he turns around and starts walking away “or you can stay on the couch if you want”

“Wait-!” You sigh as he closes the door behind him.

You reach for the apartment door and open it,

‘He probably needs some space right now…’

But you couldn’t bring yourself to leave so you shut the door again and head for his couch.

You sit down and try to piece everything that happened together, and then everything clicks in your head.

Everything Sora said outside Atsumu's apartment and everything her ditzy friends said.

Their fights…. They were always because of you?

“I'm so fucking in love with you” You hear Atsumu’s voice echo in your head and your heart starts racing again.

He was in love with you? Why did it happen? How did it happen? WHEN did it even happen?

‘No, no, that’s not what's important here,’ you think to yourself ‘do you even like him back?’

Your heart starts racing again.

And you think back on all the times you’ve spent with each other.

Ever since growing up, you both spent all your time together, playing games, watching movies, going on adventures together. And that didn’t even change as you grew up. You still look forward to seeing him daily or just texting him or calling him. Even if your hangouts consist of just sitting around lazily, you both found comfort in just each other's presence.

He would get excited for your good news and feel bad for your bad news, and you were the same for him. And you know that he’s always been there for you when you needed him most. Always there to give you a shoulder to cry on. Even when there was nothing he could do at the moment to make you feel better, he would still stay with you until you could get back up on your feet to face the world again, together.

He's always been such a huge part of your life, a huge presence.

You don't even know if you could be as happy as you are with your life, if he wasn’t a part of it.

You slowly start to realize your feelings and you couldn’t help but start tearing up.

How could you not have noticed…

“Fuck, Tsumu…” you whisper to yourself, trying to hold back your tears.

‘I'm so fucking in love with you too…’

-~-~-

An hour passes before you know it, as you try to get yourself together and figure out what to do next.

You look back at his bedroom door from where you were sitting on his couch.

You didn’t hear anything from inside for a while, and he hasn’t left the room ever since his confession an hour earlier.

You sigh as you get off the couch and head to his bedroom door.

You hesitate when your hand reaches the door handle, but your worry for him overcomes the nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You open the door slowly and peek inside; he’s lying in bed.

‘Is he sleeping?’

“Tsumu?” you whisper quietly but he doesn’t move.

You open the door slowly, and walk quietly to the side of his bed, hoping not to wake him up.

‘He looks so tense...’ you sigh when you notice the look on his sleeping face, as if he were having a bad dream.

You sit on the floor and reach for his crinkled forehead, trying to smooth it out.

You feel him slightly relax at your touch and it makes you smile.

You think back to the time he touched your face, when you pretended to be asleep and automatically started to do the same thing. You started with you index finger on his forehead, slowly going down the bridge of his nose, then to his lips.

‘So tempting...’ you think to yourself as your finger hovers over his lips for a second.

You curse yourself in your head.

Your thoughts are interrupted when his eyes suddenly snap open, and you move your hand back quickly, hoping he didn’t notice.

His look changes from startled to confused, “I thought you left” he silently whispers.

You look at him confused, then you remember how you opened his apartment door to leave, but decided against it and went back inside.

“I couldn't leave you alone like this” you quietly reply.

You both look into each other's eyes for a few moments before you look away, finding it hard to keep eye contact.

“I just wanted to check up on you,” you say as you slowly try to get up, “sorry I came in your room withou-”

He suddenly holds your hand before you get the chance to walk away, “Stay,” you hear him quietly whisper to you.

You feel your heart start racing again.

‘Don't sound so desperate... you don’t know how that makes me feel...’

You turn around to look at him and meet his pleading eyes, “Stay with me for a bit...” he continues, almost begging you.

It takes you a few moments to try and calm your racing heart but you fail.

You just nod, and he lets go of your hand.

He then moves back on his bed to give you enough space, and raises his blanket, silently asking you to get in.

You hesitate for a second before complying; he then makes sure his blanket is covering your whole body.

You both lie there, on his bed, facing each other, neither of you saying a word.

You can't help but notice the way the moonlight hits his face at that angle, even though it was nighttime you could still see every outline of his face very clearly, and he looked so

‘Handsome...’

You feel your face slightly flush.

He slowly raises his hand and it hovers along the side of your face; you see him hesitate, close his eyes then put his hand back down, sighing defeatedly.

You gently put your hand on his, taking it and guiding it to the side of your face again.

His eyes snap open and stares into your eyes, a bemused look on his face.

You smile as you feel him trace the red on your cheeks, still looking confused.

“Am I dreaming right no-” he starts to say before you suddenly interrupt him.

“Kiss me,” you whisper, startling him.

He looks at you even more confused, probably questioning if he heard you right.

“Kiss me,” you tell him, louder this time.

You don’t know where all of this boldness came from, but as you both laid there together, staring into each other’s eyes, you couldn't hold yourself any longer, and you wondered how he was able to, for however long he did.

You see his eyes fall to your lips, but he hesitates again, probably still unsure if he was hearing you correctly.

So, you decide to initiate it instead.

You close the space between the both you, as you close your eyes and lean in to kiss him.

You feel a sense of hesitation for a moment from Atsumu, as your lips land on his, then slowly feel him kiss you back.

Your heart start to race faster, feeling the warmth of his lips engulf you and you can’t help but pull back.

‘What was that...?’ you ask yourself.

Never have you ever felt that way when you kissed someone before.

You always thought people who claimed to feel fireworks, or butterflies in the pit of their stomach when they kissed someone, was just exaggerations they would make up.

I mean, you certainly never felt that with anyone you’ve kissed before...

Even though you were sure you liked them.

Until now...

‘I guess it’s true then, huh...’

“I love you,” you whisper quietly to him, accidently voicing your thoughts.

“What did you say?” he asks you, getting startled again.

“I love you too, Tsumu” you repeat, meeting his confused gaze.

You notice the slight twinkle in his eyes, before he grabs your wrist and pins you down on his bed. Not hard enough for it to hurt, but enough to hold you down.

He stares into your eyes for a minute, “You can’t take it back...” he tells you, and you notice a small pout on his lips.

You chuckle softly, “I won’t”

You see a smile of relief appear on his lips before he crashes them against yours, once again. This time, he was more confident.

Your free hand cups the side of his face as he deepens the kiss, and you try to hold him even closer.

After a few minutes, he pulls away, his forehead leaning against yours, as you both try to catch your breath.

He smiles again and gazes into your eyes, both of you dazed from the passion you felt during the kiss, and you can see the red on his cheeks.

You never thought him giving you an expression like that would make you feel so happy.

You smile as your thumb traces over his cheek.

He sighs in frustration, lets you go, and falls back into his bed.

You look at him as he stares at the ceiling, “I really hope this isn’t a dream...” he says quietly, almost like he’s speaking to himself.

It makes you smile as you get closer to him and snuggle on his chest, closing your eyes, “I promise it isn’t”

You feel him wrap his arms around you and kiss the top of your head.

You look up at him and give him a quick peck on the lips before you go back to your snuggled position, “Go to sleep now, you already had a long day” you say as you lightly trace circles on his shirt.

You feel his arms tighten around you as he snuggles closer to you as well, “I'm warning you again, y/n, you can’t change your mind tomorrow”

You just chuckle, the warmth of his embrace sending you fast asleep, with a smile on your face.

(HQ Masterlist)

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